Craig Rikard
Craig Rikard is the author of Hidden Epidemic. Additional information about this book is at www.tigerironpress.com.
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FBI's Metzler was undercover to the Mob
Craig Rikard is the author of Hidden Epidemic. Additional information about this book is at www.tigerironpress.com.
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March 10, 2011 at 6:44 pm
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July 4, 2013 at 2:01 pm
“The Other Children”
On Mother’s Day we express gratitude for our mothers and the mothers of our children. However, our minds also turn to the thought of children and the importantace of rearing them in love and conferring upon them the gift of self-esteem. Mother’s Day for many of us is a day of mixed emotion. Sadly, not all are reared in homes with healthy mothers. Most find a way to keep moving through live and become good, gracious compassionate people.
Then, there are those “other” chldren who lose their mother too soon in life. When a father is also absent those children will most likely have to fight for a meaningful life. Every funeral is difficult, but there is one that broke my heart so severely I have never really moved past it. Their faces still haunt me.
When conducting a funearl at a graveside, we often stand behind a podium, from where we read Scripture, offer words of hope, and pray. A funderal home in another city called me and asked me to conduct the funeral for a woman who was distantly connected to the church I served at present. When I arrived I was informed she left three children behind. The eldest was 12 and had been caring for her two younger siblings since their mother’s lengthy illness. The father had long ago abandoned them.
As I walked to the podium, I looked dowward at three tear-streaked faces. The 12 year old sister attempted to comfort the other two. Only six other adults were present, most unrelated to the kids. After the service they were destined fro a foster home. I opened my mouth to read from the Bible, and stopped. It just did not seem appropriate to stand six feet away, as a stranger towering over their small malnourished frames. For the first and only time in my ministry, I walked from behind the podium, pulled a chair in front of the children, sat down right in front of them and talked, only to them. I looked each one in the eye and promised my prayers. Truthfully I acknowleded life was going to present them with some tough days. I assured them that just as God held their mother in his arms, he would also hold them, always. I emotionally struggled to finish talking, and offering a final prayer. Their eyes were fixated upon mine. In the years to come they would at least remember that strange man who talked just to them, and promised to pray for them.
I continue to keep that prayer. And, on this mother’s day I also pray for all those children who feel alone, abandoned, and have to grow up too fast. I confess that there are moments when I want to ask God why I had to walk into moments like that one, for they break my heart. With age I have grown more tender-hearted, like most of us. The mere thought of that day literally makes my chest ache. But God always answers me with his own question, “If not you, then who will comfort them?” And most pointedly, “And, why not you Craig?” It is strange; my faith is the one reality that gives my life purpose, and is the one reality that most breaks my heart. This weekend I will celebrate with Gail, my kids, and my granddaughter. And in the confines of my own heart I will pray, “God, please see that someone loves those “other children.”
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
May 14, 2012 at 12:21 pm
Eastertide: The Interrogation
Simon Peter could not allow the resurrection of Jesus to remove his shame. Shame is far more than a negative emotion; it is always birthed by an action that violates our conscience. Peter had denied Jesus. This act was irrevocable; no action on Peter’s part could undo his denial. He could run through the streets of Jerusalem crying, “I am his!” and still feel the full brunt of the shame he brought upon himself. It is the action behind the shame that allows it to haunt and belittle us. Therefore, we should not express surprise over Peter’s quiet demeanor once he sat beside Jesus on shore.
When Peter recognized it was the risen Lord calling to them from shore, enthusiasm seized him; his compulsive personality sprang to life. He dove into the water, swimming toward Jesus. Every stroke was strong and determined. However, as he sat beside Jesus his head would have dropped. It is always more comfortable to look at the ground than into the eyes of the one we have betrayed. Peter can only hope Jesus will act as if the past did not occur. Yet, if Jesus sweeps Peter’s action and accompanying shame under the rug, they will forever haunt Peter, and sap the spiritual energy from his soul. No, Simon Peter’s denial must be addressed, for his own good.
Consequently, the interrogation begins. Jesus asks Peter if he loves him “more than these”. “You know I love you Lord,” Peter answers, trying to act as though the question is rather ridiculous. Jesus tells Peter to feed “my lambs.” Peter has to hope the matter is now closed, but Jesus asks again. I can almost envision some of the color leaving his face as the second question is asked. “Do you love me?” Jesus asks, for the second time. It’s the same question, identical to the first! Is Simon Peter asking himself, “Did I not answer correctly? Was ‘Yes,’ the wrong answer? How could telling Jesus I loved him be wrong?” The questions must have raced through his mind. A few moments earlier he was enthusiastically swimming for shore; now, he sits with Jesus and the fire feels very hot. Perhaps he is about to answer when it dawns upon him that Jesus did not include the phrase “more than these.” Was Jesus letting Peter know that he could love no more or less than anyone? The question is the same for all of us, “Do you love me?” We are not asked if we love more than anyone else. “You know I love you,” Peter answers, probably with dejection in his voice. Jesus responds, “Then care for my sheep.” This second question has to mark the end of the interrogation. What more can Jesus say to Peter, or ask him? Peter must now realize he does not love Jesus more than his fellow disciples; or, if he does, he didn’t show it with his denials. Peter gets it; now perhaps Jesus will let the issue go.
Then, it comes. It is as piercing as a knife and hits Peter as heavy as a club. “Peter, do you love me?” The third question hurts. It opens Peter’s heart, exposes the truth about the depth of his love. But in the quiet that follows, he begins to realize Jesus was not asking the questions to gain his own answers; he was asking the questions for Peter to hear his own answers. It was Peter who needed to answer, and listen well to his answers. Simon Peter realized this was the third question, the same number of questions as his denials. Each moment Peter was asked in the courtyard if he followed Jesus was a test of his love. Three times Peter had the opportunity to reveal his love for Jesus at all costs; three times he failed. The shame intensifies. The sense of worthlessness he has been fighting is now overwhelming. Where will Peter go from here? Will Jesus have him, use him? He knows any other man betrayed three times would rarely give the time of day to one who has proven so untrustworthy.
But following the third question, and Peter’s third “I love you,” Jesus calls him to “feed the sheep.” Though Peter’s loved failed that night in the courtyard, Jesus’ love did not. Though Peter denied Jesus three times, three times Jesus reminds him there is a calling upon his life, and his failures do not exclude him from participation in the Kingdom of God. I am certain in the days ahead, Simon Peter became a far more compassionate, understanding man concerning those who failed, who committed acts that shamed them. All Jesus desired was their godly sorrow, and their acceptance of forgiveness. These two realities create a new day.
There are moments when all of us “sit with Jesus,” and the wrongs of the past rise in the heart. We feel shame, and guilt. We understand we have failed the tests of love, more than once. Our love and commitment are called into question, not to condemn, but to redeem. Our hearts may interrogate us so severely we attempt to run and hide. But on each occasion, he stands on the shore, calling. Over a single breakfast, Peter gave Jesus his shame, and in exchange to accepted Jesus call to care as deeply for others as Jesus cared for him. If we feel as though we failed God, stop the busy activity we are using to run. For Peter, it meant to stop throwing the nets. Look toward the shore, where the earth is sure and solid. Jesus is there waiting. If we don’t go to him, he will eventually come walking to us. Now, that is unquestionable love!
For many of us, our visit to the shore will occur in a service of Holy Communion. This is the table, prepared and given by Christ himself. On so many occasions I have taken his bread and cup with shameful hands, and left with a forgiven heart. Whether in the solitude of home, or a quiet place at work, or in the sacred services of the church, he meets us. And when the heart has accomplished its interrogation, when we understand our need for grace, he will say, “Now, arise and go feed my sheep.” We will leave in awe and wonder, thinking to ourselves, “Why would he ever give me another chance?” Well, that’s what love does, and no one loves like Christ, no one.
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
April 25, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Eastertide: Leaving too Soon
Luke presents the church with a beautifully written, multilayered narrative related to a post-resurrection appearance of Christ. A lover of scripture can mine this story and find gems of truth from the surface of the narrative into its depths. Luke’s account of the resurrection closes with Simon Peter leaving the empty tomb, “wondering what had happened.”
The Emmaus Road story that immediately follows, reveals that Peter is not the only one who “went away.” However, these two disciples departed Jerusalem so quickly they missed the resurrection. As a matter of fact, they left for their hometown of Emmaus on Easter morning. As Mary witnessed the radiance of the resurrected Lord and the first glimpses of a transformed world, these men stared at familiar surroundings, walking a familiar road. The previous evening they tossed and turned at the shocking and sobering news: Jesus was dead, end of story. The pair found no reason to remain with the other followers; after all, who were they following? Men cannot follow dead men. At sunrise, as the stone rumbled away from the opening of the tomb, they ambled their way along the road home. Luke wants us to understand that these disciples of Jesus were immersed in hopelessness. If we choose to consider only that in life which is dead, ignoring the reality that a dimension of life exists that is untouchable by death, we are indeed a hopeless people.
The gem in the opening of this story is mined, from all places, “negativity.” Their premature journey home confronts us with the temptation we all face, the enticement to “leave too soon.” Had they remained only hours, perhaps minutes earlier, the earth-shaking news of the Jesus’ resurrection would have astounded and exhilarated them. Two men terrified at the thought of being associated with Jesus would have proudly claimed their allegiance, had they remained. The nightmare of Easter Eve would have dissipated into a day teeming with eternal hope. Instead, they rashly left town. They walked in the light of day, but in the soul it still felt like night.
Those who love and study the Emmaus narrative often remind us this is “our story.” Each of us stands at some place, at some time in the story. Many of us well know the temptation to leave a time of prayer, of waiting upon God too soon. Overwhelmed by the dark despair that settles over the soul, we pray as long as we can. When we pray as long as we can, our patience has grown thin. The despair often feels suffocating, as the world seems to close upon us. I refer to these moments in my life as “spiritual claustrophobia.” Our prayers seem bound, bouncing off walls and ceiling, never reaching the hearing of God. What our actions truly reveal is our frailty in believing God hears us, little us. After all, if he heard, the answer would arrive as swiftly as an angel soaring through heaven on its wings. God either chooses to intervene in our pain, or is so concerned with the infinitesimal activity in the cosmos that we do not matter. Even strong, faithful Christians can suffer a blow so severe we can barely whisper a prayer, and then, only for a moment.
After reading the narrative of Emmaus again, I asked myself, “When is the last time you prayed in your suffering over a few hours? Over a day? A month?” Sadly, for me, it has been a long time. Like many, I leave my prayers too soon. Taking matters into my own hands, I conclude God has chosen to be an absentee Father. I remain certain, there have been many moments in my life when the opportunity to witness the wonder of God’s love existed. However, I packed my baggage in the nightmare and left at the first sign of light. The reality that a far more radiant light was about to rise in my heart was neglected.
In my book “Hidden Epidemic,” I recall my last visit with my sister Jenny. In this conversation a door of truth opened that had remained shut for over 40 years. Concluding that the door would still be there tomorrow, I left her with a hug and “I love you.” There was no tomorrow. I left her too soon.
Sadly, I have often treated God in the same manner. When called to some noble task, I assumed the opportunity would always exist. When truth stirred passionately in my soul, prompting me to speak, I remained silent. “Another moment will come,” I thought. “It just isn’t the right time.” When my heart was so broken it literally ached, I prayed until God waited too long to answer; then, frustrated I arose to heal my own heart, a task for which I have never been well equipped.
If ever there has been a story that is powerfully “ours,” it is the Emmaus Road narrative. Each time I feel called, moved, or hopeless, this story reminds me that patience is indeed a virtue. We are a people of little patience, who live hurriedly and demand immediate answers. Only when we grow still, and listen to the truth that breathes through the story, can we understand the need to wait. God forbid any of us pack it in, and leave before the news of the resurrection enlightens the soul and transforms us. Will our situation always change? No. Will we see a different world, a world of hope, where God lives and moves in, with and among us? Yes, yes, indeed yes!
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
April 21, 2012 at 1:56 pm
Eastertide: An Unfamiliar Face
Like most parents we took our young daughter to Disneyworld when she was quite young. One of the Disney characters walked through the crowd and she immediately ran toward him. I watched her through the crowd. After hugging him, she turned to look for me. She was too short to see me above or through the crowd. I made my way to her and watched the relief appear in her expression. Imagine how frightening it would be to feel lost, and unable to see the face that allows you to feel, well, found.
One of the strange occurrences in the resurrection narrative is Jesus’ choice to come to his frightened disciples in an “unfamiliar” manner. Only after talking with him did they recognize him. I would think Jesus wanted them to immediately see him as they remembered. Of one fact I am certain, Jesus did nothing by chance. Every act, every choice, fulfilled a redemptive purpose. There had to be a reason for his choice to appear to them in the unfamiliar.
Indeed, a powerful truth was revealed through Jesus’ odd manner of appearance. One of the great temptations we encounter is to fashion a Jesus that looks as we prefer. If we had our way, he would always come to us in a certain familiar fashion. We want to immediately find him without searching, know him without listening, and see him in a way that makes us feel most comfortable. Jesus choice to first appear as an unrecognizable person tells us that he can come to us at anytime, anywhere, in any manner he chooses.
Many minsters, like me, have experienced days when we felt like quitting. After preaching sermon after sermon without visible response, and dealing with the same issues meeting after meeting, the soul grows weary. We begin to doubt our effectiveness, and question if we are of any value to the Kingdom. On one such day I sat behind my desk, staring at my Bible. I was clueless as to where to go in my life and ministry. My office door was open, and a dear elderly woman entered without speaking. She placed a card on my Bible, looked at me, smiled, then left. Not a single word was uttered. Fascinated and curious, I opened the card and read her handwritten note. She thanked me for a sermon preached weeks earlier, a sermon I concluded as being ineffective. Her note continued to thank me for serving Christ, and reminded me that she prayed daily for me. Closing the card, I placed in my desk. It was a keeper, destined for my “memento box.”
On that occasion I experienced more than the comfort of a card. Christ had come to me in my despondency. I wasn’t looking for him in a quiet elderly woman, and especially not looking for him in a card. Yet, my heart filled with hope and renewed purpose. Jesus had come. He can come to us in a phone call, just when we need it. He can come in a card, a letter, even an e mail. Then, there are those special moments when he appears in the loving face of another; it is especially touching when he comes in the care of our spouse and words of our children.
I remain thankful that he did not appear as the disciples expected. Instead, he was asking that we seek until we find, knock until his door opens, pray until serenity and hope ignite in the heart. Always look, for he is somewhere in our day.
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
April 21, 2012 at 12:27 pm
Eastertide: Wonderful, Beautiful Mystery
Few sanctuaries capture the grandeur and personal nature of God like Mulberry UMC. Some call it the “cathedral” of South Georgia Methodism, and I would not argue with that assertion. While waiting to preach I gazed at the large cross suspended from the vaulted ceiling, above the marble altar table. The chancel area is recessed, and the ceiling soars heavenward above the altar table. The cross appears as though it is suspended in the air, between heaven and earth. I attempted to see the apex of the ceiling, but the neck injury I sustained from a car wreck disallowed me from raising my eyes that high. In that moment I considered the fact that the glory of what God did in Christ on the cross is higher than my comprehension; no philosophy can contain it, and no language can describe or define that glory.
Therefore, I can imagine the struggle John experienced in describing the resurrection of Jesus from the dead. Heaven had touched earth again in Christ, but with a radiance and transcendence indescribable. Thank God John had Mary’s account of discovering the empty tomb, and her encounter with the resurrected Jesus. There is little she can say, so she does what she can: she tries to embrace him, hold him. John will record for us the events that unfolded that Easter morning, but will not attempt to define and describe all that it means. The resurrection of Jesus is too high, too wonderful.
There are times in our faith when we need to just let the narrative deliver its message, with little commentary from us. I have preached over thirty Easter Sunday mornings, and not once did I feel I did justice to the powerful truth it conveys. Sadly, there have been occasions when I witnessed the reenactment of the cross or the empty tomb. Many left me empty, as though I was allowed to see a shadowy surface on water, unable to see the slightest depth. Perhaps one of the most moving reenactments of the empty tomb is presented at Park Ave. UMC in Valdosta. I am certain there are others who offer us at least some glimpse into the depth of Jesus’ resurrection; however, after all of these years, I have yet to gaze into the eternal deep.
The risen Lord commands us to “go and tell;” and that is what we do in worship and in life. We are an Easter people and we want people to see life within us, indestructible, conquering life. Yet, it would do us well to quite often stop, grow still, and just read the text. Please note, I said “read the text,” not “study” it. There is a time for study; but let us allow the eternal truth that radiates in every part of the story to flow in, though, and around every fiber of the soul. Pray to God that we can become overwhelmed by the mysterious depth of what it means for Jesus to rise from the dead, and live now and forever. Perhaps, the greatest mystery of all is the reality that we have been invited to live in the glory and power of all that Easter means. As I stared at that high cross that afternoon, and on Easter reflected upon the resurrection narrative of John, I asked myself, “Why me?” “O God, why would you ever allow me to see the light of heaven dancing along the surface of the story? Why allow me to dip my soul into its depth when suffering and death appear to hold me? Why allow my limited mind to contemplate the greatest truth in life: Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again!”
What good is there in mystery? Isn’t “knowing” of far greater value than admitting “I do not know,”? I can only speak for myself, but I need mystery in my faith and life. It is the knowledge that there are depths of love and truth I cannot know that drives me to my knees. It is that light that dwells in the depths of the deep that reminds me of how little I am; and, how wonderful is that moving truth that little me is allowed to know it is there, but always beyond my reach.
In the majestic 103rd Psalm David offers us a litany of God’s greatness toward us. “He forgives all of our transgressions, heals all our diseases, and crowns our life with loving-kindness.” Then, he pens a verse that appears strangely out of place: “All men are like the grass, that withereth and fadeth away.” “David, why go and ruin this powerful statement concerning God’s goodness toward us?” I asked. Then the illumination came; it is only when we realize how transient and little we are can we understand the greatness of God. Such is the wonder of mystery.
Again, let the Easter story speak for itself. Approach the sacred text, aware that as a finite creature, we stand on the holiest ground. We are invited to look, to see, but not see all. It is what we don’t see that invites us back over and again to that great proclamation: He is risen, he is risen indeed!
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
April 15, 2012 at 10:13 pm
Eastertide: The Morning News
Most of us who have reared small children remember those nights when they sneaked into our room and up into our bed. When questioned they answered, “I heard monsters in my room.” I took my daughter back into the room, and we searched under the bed, in the closet and behind every item where a monster could hide. After the search I would kneel, look her in the eye and say, “See, there is no monster. Do you believe me?” She would nod her head affirmatively. I asked her to repeat, “There are no monsters in my room,” which she did. I tucked her in and within fifteen minutes she was back in my bed. “I heard the monsters again,” she said. She was going to have to decide whether to believe Dad or her imagination.
The disciples experienced an unbelievable morning. Christ had conquered the most foreboding reality in the world: death. Jesus looked death in the eye and won. The excitement and thrill coursing through their veins was powerful, almost mesmerizing. Therefore, it is quite strange to find them locked away that evening out of fear of arrest. Just that morning that learned that death “had no sting” and the “grave no victory.” Now, they hide in order to save their lives. Jesus had warned them that if they attempted to save their lives they would lose them. Indeed, how does one fully live locked away in fear? If we lock someone away from the outside we call it prison; if we lock the door from the inside we call it protection. However, it is still prison. The inability to move joyously and lovingly through life imprisons the soul. The disciple are going to have to choose by what news they will order their lives. Either they will live by the liberating morning news, or the frightening news of the evening. They were either going to live by God’s news, or the sound of “monsters in their night.”
Every Sunday we attend church and hear the proclamation that Christ is alive and moving in the world. At funerals we remind ourselves that death has no victory; our loved one has slipped into eternity, alive. Yet, how we allow fear to rule our lives! Life can be tough, no argument here. There are some moments that make me cower. It is then that I have to decide by what news I live. If I believe Christ is alive, then there is no reason not to trust him. He is alive in my moments of joy and pain. He can transform every moment into something good and redemptive.
Yet, I confess that often fear imprisons me. Instead of liberation I feel captive. Instead of living in joy, I live in dread. God’s gift of hope becomes fear for me. It is a shame that the most pivotal and powerful moment in human existence is so easily dismissed when life becomes difficult and painful. May each of us stop, pray, and remind ourselves that we live by not by the news of the night where monsters dwell. Instead, we live by the glorious news of the morning: He is risen; He is risen indeed!
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
April 15, 2012 at 10:12 pm
Holy Week: Easter!
Mary Magdalene walks to the tomb. The journey of Holy Week is now drawing to a close. Jesus is now dead, and had given so much to and for the world, he doesn’t even own his robe or his own tomb. Thankfully, Joseph of Arimathea gave Jesus a tomb he had hewn for himself in a nearby garden. Jesus was placed in this borrowed tomb wearing only a burial cloth. Life could hardly appear more cruel. Mary had followed Jesus to the end. Unlike the twelve disciples, only Mary and a small group of women did not run. John reminds us that he was there as well. We can only imagine the painful steps she now walked as she prepared to anoint the dead body of Jesus. His wounds were horrific; but perhaps what was most dreaded was seeing Jesus lifeless. Jesus teemed with life. She had never met anyone as alive as Jesus. No one believed in her, or saw goodness in her until Jesus. She loved to be in his presence; for she felt more alive as well. Now she would remove the burial cloth and look at his tortured, lifeless face. Mary already felt as though a part of her had died; looking at Jesus was not going to be easy.
No one could anticipate what awaited Mary. Her heart had already suffered as much shock as humanly possible. The empty tomb initially stunned her, and then inflicted her with a heartbreaking sadness. She ran for Peter and John, who accompanied her to the tomb. After a brief inspection, they engaged in the same activity as they did two days earlier: they left.
Someone stole the body of Jesus! Such an act was the ultimate insult against him. Hadn’t he suffered enough in life; now someone desired that he suffer in death as well. Mary began to weep as she stared into the tomb. Suddenly she saw two angels, one at the head, the other at the feet where Jesus body once lay. Usually she would tremble with fear. Angelic visitations always evoked the initial response of fear. However, she was so grief-stricken Usually she would tremble with fear. Angelic visitations always evoked the initial response of fear. However, she was so grief-stricken Usually she would tremble with fear. Angelic visitations always evoked the initial response of fear. However, she was so grief-stricken Usually she would tremble with fear. Angelic visitations always evoked the initial response of fear. However, she was so grief-stricken and disoriented there was no fear. “Why are you crying?” they asked. “They have taken my Lord away,” she explained.
The narrative does not tell us what caused Mary to turn around, but she did. Another figure stood before her, and began to ask questions. “Why are you crying? Who is it for whom you look?” She now assumed it was the gardener. “Tell me where you have laid him and I will get him.” We can hear desperation in Mary’s voice. Nothing is more important to her than to place Jesus body back in the tomb, where his body was protected from further abuse. It was then that the figure spoke again, but Jesus. Overcome with joy she tried to embrace him.
Only a moment earlier she stared into a tomb crying, now she gazed at a radiant, risen Christ! All of us have stood at tombs in our life and wept. It could be the tomb of our innocence. Perhaps it has been a long time since we felt pure, clean. It could be the tomb of a loss we just cannot seem to move beyond. Our eyes seem fixated upon that loss and that is all we see in life. It could be the tomb of “life as it used to be.” Life can indeed grow cruel. We may find ourselves standing in a place we would never choose. That place could be the facing of an illness, a divorce, or the loss of our income and house.
Each of us have our own tombs at which we gaze through tears. But Easter calls us to turn around! Turn from the pain and sorrow, the nagging sadness, the anger over what life has done. There is new life! He is alive, risen! The risen Christ calls us to turn and follow him into acceptance, understanding, and new direction. There is no tomb more powerful than the life and love of God. Paul jubilantly cried, “Death, where is thy sting? O grave where is thy victory?” We may currently live in the shadows of Friday, an existence of suffering and tombs. However, tomorrow is Sunday! A new day! Turn around, see, listen!
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
April 15, 2012 at 10:10 pm
Holy Week: Good Friday: Part Two: “The Cup”
Tomorrow is Good Friday. Tonight I will receive and serve the sacrament of Holy Communion. This is a very sacred moment for the Christian community. I consider many truths as I hold the bread and cup. Usually when I hold the bread I reflect upon Jesus’ choice to redeem and join us in life through suffering. Tonight I will embrace the truth that Jesus emptied himself for the world as I hold the cup. “Emptied,” it is term Paul embraced as he shared the wonder of the faith with the Philippians. There is has been and continues to be great study over what that term meant for Paul. In reality, is a term rich is substance and therefore, offers many touching truths. For me, it refers to the reality that in his passion, Jesus had given all; he withheld nothing.
Our culture does not value a lifestyle in which we expend all that we have,and are, for the redemption of the world. Many understand life, not in what we gain, but what we give. I am not speaking of charitable giving in which we intentionally call attention to ourselves, but rather a lifestyle of humble generosity. On the cross witness not just a single act of love on God’s part; instead, we witness the culmination of a generous life. From the Jesus’ first words and steps, to the profound choice to suffer for and with us, he has been giving. At Golgotha Jesus gave all.
What was left to offer? Jesus hang stripped, as he watched soldiers gamble for his clothes. The Gospels record that the final act of Jesus on the cross was to “breathe his last.” That was it. With that final exhale, he had given us everything. When Jesus handed the cup to his disciples he said, “This is the new covenant, in my blood, poured out for you.” The cup represents for all of us the reality that we are invited to receive the love of Christ, a love fully expressed through his suffering and death. One of my favorite Holy Week hymns is “When I Survey the Wondrous Cross.” The third stanza never ceases to move me. It reads: See from his hands, his head, his feet, sorrow and love flow mingled down. Did ere such love and sorrow meet, or thorns compose so rich a crown? The answer is a heartfelt “No!” This lyric reveals the eternal paradox, that in his emptiness we find fullness, and in his death we find life.
Many of us need to know we are loved in life, loved to the uttermost. We witness expressions of such love in the parent who gives their sleep, their income, their worry for a child. We witness it in the spouse who has chosen us over everyone in the world, cares for us when we are at our worst, refuses to even think about another, and daily reveals they cannot live without us. These are reflections of a love more profound and richer; such is the love of God. In a unique well-done movie we often hear truth expressed in remarkable manner. In the film “Contact,” Jodie Foster’s character is a scientist, astronomer, and astronaut. At the film’s climax she witnesses the birth of a galaxy. She struggles for words to describe the moment, but they fail her. It is then that she passionately says, “I need a word, I need a word. They should have sent a poet.”
When I hold the cup of the sacrament, I am at loss to fully understand the wonder and radiance in Jesus’ gift of emptiness. It is then that we must become silent, and allow our hearts and spirits to speak for us. May we be filled with the utter love of Christ; the love that inspired Charles Wesley to write “And Can It Be.” In this majestic hymn he pens the lyric: Amazing love! How can it be, that thou my God should die for me? Tonight I will hold the cup and answer Wesley, “I don’t know, but he did.” May each of us experience the moving emptiness that defies our reason, fills the heart, and steals our words.
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
April 15, 2012 at 10:08 pm
Holy Week: Holy Communion
As stated in other posts, the mood in the upper room was probably more somber than previous Passover meals. Jesus words and actions did little to lighten the tone of the evening. He took the bread in his hands and blessed it. Then, he broke the unleavened bread and said, “This is my body, broken for you. Eat this as often as you meet, in remembrance of me.” The disciples were accustomed to eating bread with their meals, especially at Passover. The blessing he offered as he broke the bread was also familiar, for the ritual of the Passover meal called for such a blessing. However, when Jesus claimed that the bread was his body, a broken body at that, they were stunned.
The Jewish people understood every facet of their life in relation to “covenant.” God established a relationship with them unlike any in the world. Their rabbis taught that if you obeyed the laws of covenant, you would be blessed; in contrast, if you disobeyed, you suffered. We can hear this understanding of life and faith in the disciples’ questions. As a blind man approached Jesus they asked, “Was it the sin of his parents, or his sin that made him blind?” The disciples were just as confused when the rich young ruler walked away after Jesus required that he sell all of his possessions and give the money to the poor. The disciples asked, “Who then can be saved?” For them, the young man was rich because he was favored by God for his obedience, and the blind man suffered as the result of disobedience. Their world was very simple to understand. You were either blessed or cursed, in or out.
They believed Jesus to be the Messiah, the Christ. Messiah’s did not lose, they conquered; the Christ would not suffer, he would thrive. And now, Jesus is telling them he is going to “be broken.” ? ? ? Jesus’ words created a dilemma: Jesus could not be the Messiah in their world. The very thought of a Christ who suffered was akin to filling “old wineskins with new wine.”
In the days that followed, they realized Jesus was the Messiah, a suffering Messiah; and, they were thankful for it. A new world opened for every man and woman. God was with us in joy and sorrow, laughter and tears! The broken body of Jesus would say to all of us, “God understands, for he too was broken.” When we held our children and grandchildren in utter joy, God was there. As our loved one was rolled from the room for surgery, God was there. When the phone rang with uplifting news, God was there. When news arrived that broke our hearts, God was there.
In Mexico circumstances did not allow a young woman to attend the morning communion service. That evening she attended, and stood out like a sore thumb, a beautiful sore thumb. She wore the most beautiful dress she owned. The bright colors clashed with the rather plain clothes worn by others. I was surprised when she walked to the front of the congregation, alone. With her back to us, we noticed her hose had large runs from the knee to her ankles. I later learned most women in the neighborhood did not own nylons, or possessed a single pair. This dear woman still considered them of value, and as beautiful. She dressed up for God.
Our work crew struggled to keep our emotions in check as she knelt on the floor. The church did now own an altar, and the floor was dirt. In her best, she knelt on the dirt, cupping her hands for the bread. In stunned silence we watched her hold the bread for what seemed like minutes. Slowly, she placed the bread in her mouth and partook of the sacrament.
Her life was as hard as the dirt floor. The neighborhood teemed with hungry people wearing clothes many of us would consider embarrassing. Her husband died young; now she tried to work and raise a child alone. She held the bread as if she understood in the depths of her soul that God was with her. Jesus knelt on the dirt of Gethsemane. He felt the most terrifying loneliness, crying, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”
As the community of faith, we need to recapture the sacredness of the bread and cup. Many skip communion services, or run through its rituals as though bored and in a hurry. Let us remember, the blessed bread pleads with us to recall that Jesus “joined us” in our celebrations, and in our sufferings. It is a holy moment. I want to listen more closely each time I hear, “This is my body, broken for you.” I want to gaze at the bread in my hand, torn and broken. I want to sense the others kneeling at the altar with me, for Christ is with all of us. That night in the upper room Jesus said while offering the sacrament, “Do this in remembrance of me.” He did not ask me just to “do this;” he asked that I partake “while passionately remembering:” God is with me.
( The next devotion will address the cup Jesus called “His blood, of the new covenant.” )
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
April 15, 2012 at 10:06 pm
Holy Week: Second Chances
Having Gail attend my first high school baseball game remains a memorable event in my life. The first time at bat I struck out on two fastballs and a wicked curve. I couldn’t wait for the next at bat, for I needed the opportunity to redeem myself. I struck out again, this time on two diving curveballs followed by a fastball that made the catcher’s mitt pop when the ball struck it. “One more chance,” I was thinking as I sat in the dugout. No one was hitting well for we were playing Valdosta High in Valdosta. Valdosta was and continues to be a town that excels at almost every sport. I walked to the plate, determined to watch for the curveballs followed by a fastball. That was the pitcher’s pattern. After all, I had two opportunities to strike out on curveballs followed by a blistering fastball. Sure enough, the first two pitches were curveballs. I whiffed at the first and fouled the second. I dug in for the certain fastball I knew was coming. I watched the ball as it left the pitcher’s hand and readied to time it perfectly. Then it, as we used to say, “dropped off the table.” I missed it a country mile (we used to say that too). Three times up, and three times down. I made quite an impression on Gail that day. Thankfully, she liked me for some reason disconnected from my athleticism. We live for second chances, especially after failing. They represent the hope of redemption. Second opportunities offer the possibility of placing those failures in the past; maybe they can even be forgotten. A present moment of glory can often overcome a litany of failures.
When those Jewish men in the gospel narratives looked up and saw Golgotha, a hill which in the Aramaic meant “place of the scull,” they knew that was it. Roman governors offered no pardons, no reprieves. The festival of Passover was the most sacred to the Jewish people. At Passover Israel recalled the high value God placed upon their lives, in spite of their sins. It was unimaginable love that parted the waters during the Exodus. It is strange, no, shocking, that a tradition evolved as part of Passover that cheapened life. Life was reduced to a gamble, game of chance. One criminal’s life could be exchanged for another. A petty thief could die in the stead of a far more sinister man under sentence of death. The certain hope of a second chance rested in the hands of a people with shaky values. The crowd behaved more like reeds blown in the wind than a gracious people of faith.
Yet, it was at the hands of men who devalued life, atop a hill that even looked like death, on two beams of wood that according to some historians was among the cruelest forms of execution devised that God offered us a second chance. We can hear the offer of new opportunity in Jesus’ words, “You must be born again.” (John 3) It makes no sense to speak of a new birth unless there is a real possibility of staring over. We can hear Paul’s gratitude for being the recipient of a second chance: “One thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.” (Philippians 3: 13) And, perhaps my favorite Pauline assertion, “By the grace of God I am what I am.” (I Corinthians 15:10)
Each of us needs to recognize and live in gratitude that we are the people we are, only because of God’s offer to forgive the past and empower us to live a new life. A second opportunity isn’t a single offer, or one experience; second chances are offered throughout life. Each time we embrace them, we stand in a new place in life. Grace has moved us steadily forward toward the wonder of a life filled with meaning and purpose. In the earliest years of my faith I did not understand the depth of truth in John’s statement that we have received “grace in place of grace already given.” (John 1: 16) However, this is the substance of a life of faith in Christ. We do not have a single experience of grace; for every moment in which we receive grace there is another to come. The next emerges from the former. Much like a building, with stone placed atop stone, we embrace God’s grace atop grace. We are forever moving upward, higher toward a life far richer in love, compassion and purpose than we dreamed. Remember, Paul claimed to be moving toward the “high calling of God in Jesus Christ.” Paul moved from being a persecutor of Christians, to his own experience of Christ. But, his life does not end there. From that moment he moves to the next, and to the next. From being one who despised the faith, he died as one who believed there was grace even in his horrific death. Tradition records that Paul was beheaded for being a follower of Jesus. Paul claimed that if thrown into prison, God would use his time in jail to further the good news that God loved the world in Christ. If shipwrecked, beaten, hated, and killed, Paul deeply believed his every moment belonged to Christ for the redemption of the world. Again, “grace in place of grace.”
You my dear brother and sister in Christ, walk a journey of beautiful moments, each building upon the former. Yes, even the painful moments are transformed into beautiful moments in Christ. There are times we recognize this transformation, and others in which we will only know in eternity. It doesn’t matter. What is important is to remember the direction and substance of our journey: we are moving upward, forever upward, as one moment of transforming grace emerges from the former.
Yes, this journey of grace is the embracing of one second chance after another, one offer of a new beginning after another. One of the three men walking toward Golgotha knew that the coming hours would appear so dark and chaotic that even his closest followers would run away and hide. Yet, he embraced with all his heart the truth that God was creating an experience so beautiful the world would be forever transformed. Those of us, who follow him, committed ourselves to following him into the chaotic, the valley of the shadow of death, the painful, the unexplainable and mysterious. Our power comes from the knowledge that a table of fellowship awaits after walking that valley, and Christ is our host. The food satisfies to the uttermost and the wine is the sweetest. The laughter is contagious, and the tender emotional moments are fully shared by all. No one judges or condemns, for every seat is occupied by the recipients of second chances. The one at the head of the table made the moment possible. He walked with us through the joy and pain, he picked us up each time we failed, gently pulled us forward when life shoved us backward, and never left us. As Dr. Anthony Campolo (author of “A Reasonable Faith” and many other publications) preached: “Yes, it’s Friday, but Sunday is coming!” The pain of Friday is always overcome and transformed by the power of Easter. On Friday we have a cross; on Sunday we have something new, unimaginably different and unlike any event in human history. What a day was and is Sunday! What an event is Sunday! What a new you and me is born on Sunday!
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
April 15, 2012 at 10:03 pm
Holy Week: Shame
We think of shame in terms of public embarrassment. Our behavior has violated the social norm and thus we desire to “go into hiding.” Still, there is a deeper shame. There are moments in life when we violate our conscience so severely we dread looking into the mirror. It is our soul that blushes with embarrassment, and in reality, it is God that we really dread facing.
Simon Peter was too familiar with this experience of shame. He made sincere promises to Jesus, and really intended to keep them. However, the “spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak.” Instead of expressing his great loyalty and resolve he faced his frailty and fear. His failures have accumulated until their culmination at Jesus’ arrest. After promising to protect and defend Jesus, even if forced to do so alone, he hides behind a false identity. “Are you not one of his followers?” he was asked. Three times before daybreak he denied being “that man.” He denied even knowing Jesus.
When someone we know and love, with whom we have shared our heart, denies us, it hurts, and hurts deeply. The person is doing more than denying knowledge of our name or history; they are in essence claiming that we never shared life, and never cared. Peter was denying the experience on Galilee when Jesus walked to them on water, on the mount when five thousand were fed with a few loaves and fish, and even on the mount when Moses and Elijah were transfigured before his eyes. Peter had walked as near to heaven as a man could walk, and now he denies it all. Three years of life with Jesus, denied in minutes.
After the resurrection, his shame did not dissipate. As the other disciples remain together, Peter has left. He is somewhere, alone, trying to coexist with the deepest shame possible. And, Jesus knows it. He tells Mary at the tomb, “Go tell the disciples, AND Peter, that I am going before them into Galilee.” Peter was a disciple, thus there was no need to mention his name separately. Jesus could have just said, “Go tell the disciples . . . “ Mary would have understood that Peter was included. However, Jesus reveals his awareness of Peter’s isolation and the shame that caused it. It was if he was saying, “Go tell my brothers, and especially Peter.”
At some time in life we are going to fail so severely we despise ourselves. We can only glance in the mirror, for if we look too long at the man or woman in reflection our shame literally aches within our hearts. We may live in the same house and work in the same office, but we hide just the same. We are now quiet, less social, as our conscience strikes blow after blow. Yet Jesus knows where we are and how we got there. We are not the first, nor will we be the last. He will call us to return. If we refuse he will call until his love defeats our shame. So if we can’t live with ourselves, there is one who will. Should we embarrass him a thousand times over, he will never walk away, for he is never ashamed of us. We are his, and nothing we can do will change that astounding fact. Paul, who had persecuted Christians and even ordered their deaths, wrote of the Jesus who called him, “What shall separate us from the love of God? Shall height, depth, principalities, powers, life death . . .?” The answer is nothing, absolutely nothing. Shame is an experience I am going to feel again; but Christ will call for me again, and again, and again.
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
March 29, 2012 at 11:55 am
Holy Week: Shame
We think of shame in terms of public embarrassment. Our behavior has violated the social norm and thus we desire to “go into hiding.” Still, there is a deeper shame. There are moments in life when we violate our conscience so severely we dread looking into the mirror. It is our soul that blushes with embarrassment, and in reality, it is God that we really dread facing.
Simon Peter was too familiar with this experience of shame. He made sincere promises to Jesus, and really intended to keep them. However, the “spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak.” Instead of expressing his great loyalty and resolve he faced his frailty and fear. His failures have accumulated until their culmination at Jesus’ arrest. After promising to protect and defend Jesus, even if forced to do so alone, he hides behind a false identity. “Are you not one of his followers?” he was asked. Three times before daybreak he denied being “that man.” He denied even knowing Jesus.
When someone we know and love, with whom we have shared our heart, denies us, it hurts, and hurts deeply. The person is doing more than denying knowledge of our name or history; they are in essence claiming that we never shared life, and never cared. Peter was denying the experience on Galilee when Jesus walked to them on water, on the mount when five thousand were fed with a few loaves and fish, and even on the mount when Moses and Elijah were transfigured before his eyes. Peter had walked as near to heaven as a man could walk, and now he denies it all. Three years of life with Jesus, denied in minutes.
After the resurrection, his shame did not dissipate. As the other disciples remain together, Peter has left. He is somewhere, alone, trying to coexist with the deepest shame possible. And, Jesus knows it. He tells Mary at the tomb, “Go tell the disciples, AND Peter, that I am going before them into Galilee.” Peter was a disciple, thus there was no need to mention his name separately. Jesus could have just said, “Go tell the disciples . . . “ Mary would have understood that Peter was included. However, Jesus reveals his awareness of Peter’s isolation and the shame that caused it. It was if he was saying, “Go tell my brothers, and especially Peter.”
At some time in life we are going to fail so severely we despise ourselves. We can only glance in the mirror, for if we look too long at the man or woman in reflection our shame literally aches within our hearts. We may live in the same house and work in the same office, but we hide just the same. We are now quiet, less social, as our conscience strikes blow, are and how we got there. We are not the first, nor will we be the last. He will call us to return. If we refuse he will call until his love defeats our shame. So if we can’t live with ourselves, there is one who will. Should we embarrass him a thousand times over, he will never walk away, for he is never ashamed of us. We are his, and nothing we can do will change that astounding fact. Paul, who had persecuted Christians and even ordered their deaths, wrote of the Jesus who called him, “What shall separate us from the love of God? Shall height, depth, principalities, powers, life death . . .?” The answer is nothing, absolutely nothing. Shame is an experience I am going to feel again; but Christ will call for me again, and again, and again.
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
March 29, 2012 at 10:24 am
Holy Week: Gethsemane: Sleeplessness
Our youth sang a moving anthem Sunday, with a lyric reminding us that God was with us in the sleepless nights. Since my back surgeries I am a helpless insomniac. Sleeping more than three hours at a stretch hasn’t happened for me in over two years. Those who suffer from insomnia will attest to the fact that it is a most miserable feeling to be both exhausted and hopelessly awake. I usually describe my nights as “just me and my thoughts.” As a clergyman I have preached the permanent presence of God my entire ministry. I remain stunned that I never considered the fact that during insomnia it is me, my thoughts, and God. Now, that is a very different perspective of insomnia.
If anyone understands insomnia it is Jesus. We forget that on the night of his arrest and trial he did not sleep. Was he exhausted? Yes. When he journeyed into Gethsemane, taking the inner circle of disciples with him, he asked them to remain awake. In spite of the intense emotion coursing through the events of that night, they could not refrain from sleeping. On more than one occasion they nodded off, leaving Jesus to face death alone. He was as tired as these three followers, yet he could not sleep.
Why? He had the entire world on his mind. In those weary hours of the night I have often worried about the welfare of my children and grandchildren. I have asked myself if Gail received the attention from me she deserved. I can tell you, it is difficult to sleep when others are seriously on your mind. Therefore, I consider Jesus’ time in Gethsemane in a different light. There was no way he was going to sleep. The redemption of the world was on his mind, and the welfare of his twelve disciples was already breaking his heart. He knew they would “scatter like sheep without a shepherd.” He knew his death would infect them with fear, and like small children they would run and hide. Consequently, as he hung on the cross only one disciple remained, along with the women who followed. His mother was there; after all, mothers rarely leave their hurting children. And, God never leaves his.
Now during the sleepless hours of the night I pray. I intentionally make myself aware of the fact that the Christ who is with me understands sleeplessness fully. Furthermore, I recall while praying that the loved ones on my mind have been, and remain on his. My kids, my granddaughter, my wife belong to Christ. He sweats drops of blood over them, and suffered an agonizing death for them. Do I fall asleep more easily? No. Do I sleep longer hours? No. Pain and insomnia are just my “thorns in the flesh.” Each of us has our own, or will. But, my waking hours are far more peaceful. It is one thing to stay awake worrying about those you love; it is another to remain awake knowing they are loved of God. You will have some sleepless nights, worrying over those you love. But, I promise you, it will not just be you and your thoughts.
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
March 27, 2012 at 2:47 pm
Your words are touching and encouraging. They are affirming, and as you well know everyone who writes needs it. Reaching into the soul to share is often agonizing. Thanks for making it a little easier.
Craig Rikard
March 18, 2012 at 6:05 pm
The imagery that you use to covey these messages of love, trust and forgiveness is remarkable! Thanks for this wonderful perspective. This is a five-minute sermon that is easily remembered.
Bill Chase
March 18, 2012 at 8:32 am
Devotion/ Holy Week / The Betrayal
I have prayed many prayers while in unbelievable pain, and pray was birthed in the depth of my soul. Still, I never prayed from an experience of agony that I “sweat drops as of blood.” Jesus did sweat drops as of blood, for he felt agony and heartbreak so intense his body began suffering before they drove the first nail. The question that continues to hound me is, “Exactly what was on Jesus’ mind to place him beneath a weight of stress so heavy he did not kneel on the ground in Gethsemane; instead, he stretched himself out, an act that revealed a total depth of commitment. Certainly he felt the approaching crucifixion. Many fail to recognize Jesus had witnessed many crucifixions in his life. There were times during Jewish festivals in which many Jews were crucified. Tradition claims the hills would have appeared peppered with crosses around the city. Historically we know that at least on one occasion so many were crucified the Romans actually ran out of wood.
Was Jesus also concerned about the fear and shameful actions awaiting his disciples? The narrative supports this concern, and it was one of his prayer concerns in the upper room just prior to visiting Gethsemane. I cannot help but believe that Judas betrayal hurt Jesus deeply. It is one thing to have the ignorant selfish course of Roman justice hurt you; and it hurt him that the Sanhedrin demanded his death. However, Jesus understood the Sanhedrin as blind, blind because of years of misguided thinking and ambition so enticing they could not observe the truth when it stood before their eyes.
But Judas; he knew better. He sat on the mount when Jesus offered the highest ethical message in the of the world. He know Jesus fed thousands from a few loaves and fish. Perhaps most damning was Judas witness of Lazarus walking from the tomb after lying dead for three days. If Judas claimed not to understand, Jesus could accept that. If his yearning for Jesus to call people to arms and overthrow Rome, Jesus could understand that. He knew what was expected of him by the disciples, and he knew they had some distance t travel before understanding that the Kingdom of God was when God’s character ruled the world, a character expressed in the ageless words, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, soul, mind and strength, and thy neighbor as thyself.” But, Judas was not standing in the background like the other eleven, confused, afraid, and without a clue as to what were they to do now.
No, Judas betrayed him, and it hurt; O, it hurt. Jesus had shared the depths of his heart with Judas. He had called to Jesus in love, even to the end. During the Passover meal, the men reclined on one elbow around a table. A close circle was formed, with one disciple’s head in your breast, and your head in the breast of another. The disciples always argued as to who sat next to Jesus. Whether on the right or left, the seat was an honor; either your head was in Jesus chest, implying he loved you and held you near. If you sat on the other side, Jesus’ head was in your breast, implying love and trust in the one whom you trusted with your head so near his heart. Usually James and John argued who would sit in these coveted positions. Often Simon Peter was angered if not given one of the places. That night, Jesus had John sit near, so that the head of the disciple was in Jesus’ breast. He was later called “John the beloved” for he believed Jesus loved him above the others. Who would sit on the other? Who would be entrusted with the head of Jesus, and expression of Jesus trust in them as a brother in faith. That night it was . . .Judas. Judas!? the others must have questioned among themselves. Jesus let Judas know one more time that he loved him and believed in him. The love of Jesus called to the end.
Most of us will sweat drops of blood at some time in our life, or we already know the experience. Sadly, there is usually more than one. I have sweat, not blood, but passion nevertheless for the well-being of my children. When one of them ran a high fever all night I slept in a recliner with her on my chest so I could feel her fever rise and act quickly. Her head was in my breast, and I loved her. My head? I placed it in the bosom of God, for I desperately needed to trust him. All of us are familiar or will be with like moments.
However, of the deeper pain in my life few have hurt me like betrayal. Ministers learn to exercise great care in sharing the true feelings of their heart. It is a risk, for that person can use your moments of confession to either help you find healing, or to use against you in a public manner. I do not weep easily; but some of the few occasions that evoked tears from me were related to betrayal. It hurts to lose a friend. It hurts to cast your pearls, the precious truth as to who you are, only to discover that confession has become the “kiss of Judas.” We feel as though our honesty has dragged us before the world, who could crucify us with gossip. But we lost more than our reputation. We lost a friend. We lost the ability to trust, and who can live without trusting another? We lost joy around our house as spouse shares the pain.
Jesus found the grace while hanging on the very cross Judas’ betrayal helped to make possible: “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Jesus sweat drops as of blood, only to allow love and mercy to pour from every pore of his being hours later. Judas was included in the prayer. I admit, that transformation from hurt and tears to loving forgiveness remains one of the most difficult acts in my life. Yet I know if I cannot find the strength to forgive. I also know if I cannot treat the one who hurt me like a brother, I am plodding through life with anvils tied to my feet. Of course, my trust of them will require their earning it; but love is that beautiful gift we give without condition. There are several I need to call to my table, and have them sit on both sides. They need the expression of a love that is indestructible, even by betrayal. They need to know I place my head near their heart, reminding them I remain their brother, and their betrayal cannot force me to place them as far from me as possible.
I pray as you near Holy Week, you will realize the tremendous power of betrayal. If it caused Jesus to sweat drops as of blood, then what is it doing to us? If Jesus reached even more deeply within his soul and prayed for the forgiveness of all who hurt him, can I do the same? Through the power of the Spirit he said we could. Either I am going to believe him and move beyond my pain, or I’ll dismiss his prayer of forgiveness as too difficult and try to find an easier way. In other words, I will remain as I am. There is one thing I know: I’ve got to leave Gethsemane and move toward the love of the cross. I’ve just got to. I am certain many who read this know the same.
D. Craig Rikard
March 18, 2012 at 1:48 am
The depth of your insights, Craig, continually humble me! Thank you for drawing me back to the intensity of God’s love and my own need to fall into His mercy during a moment of discouragement and self-pity. The anvil you carry around has shaped you into such an amazing tool of insight and change for me. You always strengthen me with the depths of where you have been, and to where God has raised you! Thank you, again.
Steve Waldorf
March 28, 2012 at 5:28 am
Since the earliest years of my ministry I dreamed of visiting the Holy Land. Ten years later I walked the streets of Jerusalem and journeyed by boat from one port on Galilee to another. I well remember my apprehension that something could happen to cancel my trip. If a member passed, my responsibility as pastor place upon me the calling to caring first for them. Also, we learned Israel was on a state of “high alert” after two of their soldiers had been murdered while on bivouac. Each person that walked through customs was intensely interrogated. I made the mistake of reporting a friend presented me with an “exercise bar” called a “bull worker.” I was devoutly devoted to exercise and he wanted to ensure I could still work my upper body over the next twelve days. Upon learning of this gift, Gail and I were interrogated for over 45 minutes. Unless we have been scrutinized in like manner, it is difficult to imagine the serious, threatening cross examination inflicted upon Gail and me. We understood the need for the protection of their country and citizens, but for most of those minutes of interrogation I feared being sent home. A dream I nurtured for almost ten years was in danger of dissipating in forty five minutes.
What a thrilling moment when he participated in the rituals in the temple. Suddenly he heard chaotic commotion along a street which wound from the Antonio Fortress outside the city gate and into the undulating hills upon which many crosses were erected. Crucifixions were quite common during Passover. Simon made his way to the front of the crow for a better view. Turning his head toward the louder noise he observed a band of soldiers leading three Jews. The three appeared beaten and struggled to carry the horizontal beams of their own crosses. One in particular struggled more acutely than the other two. He fell to his knees beneath the weight; however, as he drew near to Simon the explanation for his greater weakness we clear: he was beaten so severely and had lost so much blood Simon wondered how he could even walk.
Regarding his pedigree, Jesus certainly had nothing about which to boast. His hometown was, of all places, Nazareth. Simon would have understood the sarcastic question once asked of Jesus, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” As of that moment the answer was an assertive, “No!”
Simon of Cyrene was shocked and speechless as the soldiers enlisted him to carry the cross beam for Jesus. The Sanhedrin and Roman officials wanted Jesus dead. Once and for all this Nazarene carpenter who was little more than a false, uneducated rabbi needed to be silenced. They were not going to allow him to die in the street, prior to the agony of crucifixion. After all, perhaps the suffering of the cross could prompt him to confess his pretense. No, he was going to the cross, and Simon was enlisted to ensure Jesus would arrive atop the hill Golgotha. Simon’s dream of a lifetime had just been interrupted by a dream of eternal consequence.
Had they ignored Simon, he would have enjoyed his Passover in the holiest place in the known world; now, the holy city had turned rather vicious. The grand Psalms of Ascent in temple worship now seemed a distant echo; for the cries of “Crucify him!” and the biting words of mockery reverberated down the winding city streets. We can only guess what Simon thought of both Jesus and himself. The crucified Jesus stood in stark contrast to the man Simon watched on the cross. Jesus of Nazareth seemed a most humble man, who actually ,and strangely appeared to love everyone, even those who hated him.
Most of us have our own dreams. We want “that kind of job” that allows us to live in “that kind of house.” We want children who cause little difficulty, and who graduate from college and easily create a life of their own. A man in his late thirties boasted, “I have known what I wanted for my life since I was twenty!” Good for him. Most of our lives do not conform to our well planned schedules.
We must always be prepared for that moment when God interrupts our goals and dreams. God may enlist us in an endeavor that can change lives, and perhaps even the world. Maybe our goal of accumulated wealth is interpreted by the call to be generous. Perhaps our goal of surrounding ourselves with friends that encourage our dreams and actually help us achieve them can be interrupted by God’s call to join the broken hearted, the outcast, the forgotten. Our dreams must never be so set that we cannot allow God to interrupt at any time for the sake of his Kingdom.
What happened to Simon of Cyrene? Cyrene is an area in Africa. Simon had traveled that far for this one Passover. Later in the early church a leader is mentioned as Simon the Niger, implying his darker skin. Is the Simon who carried Jesus cross? We have now way of knowing for certain. Yet, the fact that the church wants us to know this leader is a Simon from an area of darker skin seems as if we are offered a detail that means little, unless it is the Simon carrying the cross.
I have no idea what God has in store for those of us who leave the door open for God to enter our dreams at anytime. We must be willing to let go of our plans, recognizing there is an eternal realm of activity that is drawing the entire world to God in love. God forbid we say to the Lord, “That was not what I had planned.”
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
March 16, 2012 at 2:43 am
Well stated, and with great wisdom. An observation of this depth reveals the author has gained his understanding throuh personal experience. Thank you so much. Craig
D. Craig Rikard
March 15, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Correction of last paragraph of just submitted excerpt.
“Tell him your name,” Stella encouraged him. He sheepishly answered, “My name is Philco.” He then disappeared again behind Stella’s dress. I sensed he felt out of place at the scales. He was the only child, other than me, that was present. I honestly did not understand the separation of the races in those earlier years; but I did learn that the world of a black person did not intrude into a white person’s world. Philco probably did not understand why it was a special moment for him to stand in the line with Stella; but it was clear that, like me, he knew this was not a place he could visit regularly. I never walked the path to Philco’s house and he never walked the path to my grandparent’s house. For the first time our worlds met.
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
March 14, 2012 at 9:21 pm
Excerpt from my work in progress, in its infancy. Working Title “Monsters in the Cotton Field”
A memoir on the process that informed my understanding of race in the deep south.
A scale hung from a low heavy branch of the tree. Each worker walked forward, pulling their sack of cotton. They would hang the sack on the scale’s hook. The pay they received from the metal box depended upon the weight of the sack. I noticed every worker staring at the scale as if their life depended upon it. It did. A good payday meant more food on the table, and maybe even a new dress or shirt. With great joy I spied Stella standing near the end of the line with her bag. She had removed it from her shoulder and let it fall to the ground.
I studied her intently. She wore an old faded flowery dress. It looked unwashed; and, I eyed a stain that upset me. I saw blood. “Where is she bleeding?” I wondered. Bleeding to a child is serious. We can tolerate a lot of injuries as long as we don’t’ bleed. Stella wiped her hand on her dress, and it was then that I recognized the source of the bleeding. She had cut the fingers from a thick cotton pair of work gloves. Cotton bolls were sharp as razors and could slice your hands. Stella’s palms and wrists received protection from the gloves. However, she needed her fingers to pick the cotton from the boll. It proved impossible to pick the white cotton from the boll while wearing a glove on one’s fingers. Blood appeared on Stella’s every finger. When cut by a cotton boll it felt like a paper cut. I could imagine how Stella’s fingers burned, and how sore they must be. In spite of the cuts she continued to pick cotton. I was now reaching an age of childish enlightenment. Later I would toss and turn at the thought of Stella picking cotton with bleeding fingers.
Stella wrapped an old red bandanna about her brow to keep the sweat from burning her eyes. Stella cut the sides from her shoes because of a thing called bunions. She said it was a large bump on her big toe and it hurt for her shoe to touch it; thus, she cut the shoes so they wouldn’t touch the bump. This information already disturbed me, so when I learned of the bleeding I neared being sick. Furthermore, it wasn’t just Stella. Everyone standing in line looked as though they fought someone, and lost. I now understood why they stared at the scale. Their blood and sweat were literally in that bag of cotton.
Stella soon stood only three people away from the money box. I waved. She returned it with the same broad smile that drew me to her. For some reason unknown to me, I felt secure around Stella. Suddenly something moved behind Stella. I concluded it was one of the old yard dogs that hung around the farm. Without staring I kept my eye on Stella. Then, I saw him. A small boyish face peeped from behind her dusty dress. “Go on,” Stella encouraged him, “Say hello to Master Craig.” He sheepishly stepped from behind her dress. We were of similar height and size; but I wore a shirt and shoes. The boy wore only a pair of trousers. I knew children were not allowed to pick cotton; so, he must have received permission to accompany Stella to the weigh-in.
He did not speak, but did offer a shy wave. My grandmother nudged me to walk to him and speak. I did. For a moment we studied one another, as if boys from different worlds. In reality we were. Life in the tin roofed houses would prove drastically and disturbingly different from mine. “I’m Craig,” I said leaving off the Master; for some reason the thought of telling him I was Master Craig didn’t feel right to a boy of seven.
“Tell him your name,” Stella encouraged him. He sheepishly answered, “My name is Philco.” He then disappeared again behind Stella’s dress. I sensed he felt out of place at the scales. He was the only child, other than me, that was present. I honestly did not understand the separation of the races in those earlier years; but I did learn that the world of a black person did not intrude into a white person’s world. Perhaps like me, Philco did not understand why it was a special moment for him to stand in the line with Stella; but it was clear that like me, he knew this was not a place he could visit regularly. I never walked to path to Philco’s house and he never walked the path to my grandparent’s house; at least now while I was visiting. For the first time our worlds met.
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
March 14, 2012 at 9:14 pm
I was new to the church, and just becoming acquainted with its staff. The sound of his steps in the hallway echoed, for he walked alone and the church was empty. A member of the staff peeped out the doorway and said, “O no, here he comes again.” I walked into the hall and eyed him. He was an elderly man and walked slightly stooped from gradual bone loss. I quickly moved back into the office and whispered why the man was considered a nuisance. The employee whispered, “He just talks on and on. We can’t get him to leave.”
I understood. There were times when we faces a lot of administrative work. Brief visits were welcomed; but on occassion a person would stay for almost an hour. This was the reputation he had earned. I met him that day and he fulfilled their prophecy, talking for almost an hour. When he left we all breathed a sigh of relief.
Since I was new and visiting the congregation, I decided to visit him. Sadly, I was just trying to get the visit out of the way. Hishome was small, and I entered it seemed I might never find my way out. An old piano, a horn, harmonicas and mounds of sheet music were stacked everywhere. He greeted me warmly. The fact that I chose to enter his world deeply touched him. He immediately opened his heart and shared his story. His wife had passed two years prior, and he was overwhelmed with loneliness. Then, as though he flipped a switch, he began talking about music. I learned it was his way of fighting grief.
He made his way to the piano and his bent fingers began to play. For almost twenty minutes I listened to Mozart and Bach. I was spellbound. When he finished he reached upward to an old dusty shelf, grabbed three framed documents. He blew dust from them and proudly showed them to me. They were aadvanced degrees from some of the great schools of music.
Like many, when he retired the world seemed to forget him. When his wife died, it was a great blow, for now who would listen to his music. He pointed to a stack of compositions written with his own hand. I quickly learned that he walked into churches and other places in hopes that someone would listen to his songs. I noticed that day in the church an old harmonica in his top pocket. If someone asked about it, he would take it out and play a tune.
That day I learned that as a culture we do forget the elderly. We do not intentionally forget them. Our life is so full of activity and our own “clutter” that we lose sight of the precious people in life, especially the aging. There are many men and women who just want to play their song for someone. It may not be a literal song, it may be their story, their wisdom or their sadness.
I have learned so much from the aging in my life. I understand why other cultures embrace and revere the old. If we will only stop a moment here and there, and listen to the song of their life, we just might discover we have had genius in our company. They hold degrees in life, courage, and faith. God forbid we allow them to become lost, and their wisdom be placed on shelves to collect dust.
D. Craig Rikard
March 12, 2012 at 12:21 am
I, TOO, HAVE BEEN BLESSED BY TAKING THE TIME TO LISTEN TO ANOTHER WHO NEEDS NOTHING MORE THAN SOMEONE TO FOCUS ON HIM/HER FOR A WHILE. I THINK THIS IS THE REASON WE ARRIVE AT A CERTAIN INTERSECTION, AND I DON’T WANT TO WASTE THE OPPORTUNITY. SOMETIMES, IT TAKES MORE TIME THAN i WISH, BUT WHEN YOU ARE RESPECTING ANOTHER PERSON’S IMPORTANCE, IT IS TIME WELL SPENT.
Bill Chase
March 14, 2012 at 11:24 pm
With great hesitancy I describe a wedding as “the most precious” I have conducted. Almost all of them are precious in their own manner. Still, this one will forever stand out, for it has led me to consider a truth with far more light than previously. The couple was a special needs couple. They were both mentally challenged. During a program they had met, and fell in love. Family had helped provide them with a house in which they could function well. Both secured jobs they loved, and that made them feel good about themselves. Now they prepared to get married.
On the day of the wedding the groom was so excited he literally moved from one foot to the other, nonstop. The family determined he was overwhelmed by all of the fanfare and perhaps he should stand outside until the time arrived for the bride to walk the aisle. He did. After the entrance of the wedding party and a solo, I entered. Usually I walked in with the groom, but that day he had to remain outside with his best man. We had coordinated a signal as to when he should enter. As the time for the bride to enter arrived, the organist blasted triumphantly the trumpet-like intro to the wedding march. The bride took her first steps on the arm of her father. From the corner of my eye I watched the groom and best man enter. The groom turned to watch her walk the aisle.
The family was concerned that all of the fanfare would overwhelm him. He was overwhelmed, but not by the fanfare; he was mesmerized by the sight of his bride walking the aisle in her beautiful white dress. His eyes never left her.
I read the early portions of the service, and he danced from foot to foot the entire time.
The time for exchanging the vows arrived. When I asked him to hold both of her hands he took them so gently, and still, his eyes were locked on her face. She was doing the same in return. We had worked the vows so that he could answer “I will” to all of them. We were not going to make him repeat them on such an exciting day. Prior to the service I made certain he understood them, and he did. I had no doubt he remain faithful to them.
When I asked him to answer my question, he shouted, “I will!” The congregation laughed, not at him, but in awe of a love so strong it would shout to the heavens. He answered every vow in the same manner. As we reached the end, and he slipped the ring on her finger there was hardly a dry eye in the sanctuary, me included.
After pronouncing them husband and wife he beamed, and taking her hand walked out telling everyone in the congregation “Hello!” as he passed. He was by far the happiest groom I have met in all my years. She was far quieter, but squeezed his hand tightly and smiled as they exited.
Later at home I remained very tender-hearted, and sat down to consider why they had roused so much emotion in me and so many others. I realized I had witnessed love in its most innocent, purest expression. There were no strings attached, no unrealistic expectations, and no demands placed upon one by the other. They married for no reason other than love and a desire to spend their entire lives together.
Upon further reflection, I realized we have yet to understand the beauty and wonder of God’s love in Christ. How beautiful, innocent and pure had to be the love of Jesus. He placed no demands upon any to receive his love. He would love the world with such depth and wonder that the best John could do in his Gospel was write “For God so loved the world.” You can omit the tiny word so and the statement still makes sense. Then why is it there? We often use the word when we can think of no other. We might say, “You are so, so, so, aggravating!” Or,”She is so beauitful.” Sometimes there are no words to capture the moment. John knew that, and was saying to all of us that we were not just loved, we were so, so, so loved.
That day I may have come as close to seeing that depth of love in those two. I knew I witnessed love at a depth rarely seen. When I meditate upon the love of God, a dancing groom beside himself, a beautiful tender, quiet bride, and vows answered with a shout almost always come to mind. Yes, it was probably the most precious wedding I have ever performed.
D. Craig Rikard
March 12, 2012 at 12:19 am
Craig, The “precious wedding” is a powerful example of love, and it is so, so, well described by you. Thanks for sharing!!!
Bill Chase
March 15, 2012 at 5:32 pm
Gail worked at the University of Kentucky. A vicious snowstorm had made the road from seminary to her work most dangerous. Nevertheless, I carefully drove to pick her up. I arrived about thirty minutes early and had to wait in a small waiting room with about ten chairs. Only one other person was in the room. He was an African American teen, not yet sixteen.
He had thrown one of his long lanky legs over the arm of the chair. He looked as though every muscle in his body was relaxed, for he appeared to almost “drape” himself over the chair.
However, he was doing one thing that irritated me. He stared a hold through me without saying a word. Believe me, it is difficult to sit there while someone stares at you. I don’t even know if he blinked. I tried to avoid his gaze but could not escape the feeling I was being watched, closely.
At last he spoke. Thank God, for I had about as much of his silent staring as I could take. “What do you do?” he asked as if interrogating me.
“I’m a seminary student,” I answered.
“Oh,” he responded. “Gonna be a preacher huh?” I still felt as though I was on a witness stand and he was determined to get all the possible information from me.
“Yeah,” I answered. “I am going to be a minister.” Following my answer he reverted to his former self. He sat staring at me, without speaking a word. It seemed as though the silence lasted forever. Once again his piercing gaze made me extremely uncomfortable.
At last he spoke; “You better know what you doing,” he said calmly but firmly.
“I do,”Iresponded. Again silence. A few moments later he spoke again. “You better know what you doing.” Same words, same tone, same aggravating interrogation.
“I do,” I repeated. Again, silence and staring. I was near the end of my patience. He broke the silence again. “You better know what you doing.” Three times he spoke the identical words after boring a hole through me with his eyes. I answered for the third time, “I do.” I prayed the time when Gail would enter the room would be soon, very soon.
I had to endure several more minutes of his staring and at last Gail arrived. I didn’t tell her about the young man. But on the way home his words really haunted me. “You better know what you doing.” At his young age he knew that serving God as a vocation was not something you simply decided to do; you had to be called. And, you better know you are called.
A few days later in class we read the text from John in which Jesus asked Peter three times, the same identical words, “Peter, do you love me.” Peter answered and Jesus sat quietly, only to ask again in a few moments. The Christ involves himself in our lives in a myriad of ways. I began to wonder if he was using a young man to remind me that I was being called into a holy calling, not to be taken lightly. In reality, we all are. I would never say that the Christ was interrogating me as he had Peter. I just don’t know. However, I do know that when we vow to serve God, “We better know what we doing.”
D. Craig Rikard
March 12, 2012 at 12:17 am
I liked this haunting story of strangers in the waiting room. I am left with the question of what impact did this strange intersection have on the young man’s probing into your life’s purpose. I am led to believe your role here was more to benefit the young man’s reflection on his own life’s purpose. But rarely do we learn what sprouts from the seeds we leave in our tracks.
You are good at telling stories with a purpose. Keep it up! Reading them seems to be helping me.
Bill Chase
March 15, 2012 at 5:51 pm
In Merida, on the Yucatan Pennisula, I helped build a church. Each year for four years I flew to a very poor neighborhood and did construcution work on the building. The heat and humidity were unbearable; thus we worked from 6am until about two. After two the odds of suffering a heat stroke rose dramatically. I was always dehydrated and exhausted following a work day.
Prior to my making it to my hammock, one afternoon a young couple stopped me. My Spanish was very weak and thankfully a bilingual person stood near and interpreted. They were inviting me into their home to pray. In spite of how I felt, no clergyman would ever refuse to pray for someone aksing in such earnest. I followed them through the neighborhood of small concrete hovels. At last we arrived at their home. It was also made of concrete block, and consisted of three rooms. The entire family slept in hammocks in one room. In the morning, after rising, they would unhook the hammocks, roll them up and hang them on a single wall. This allowed them to use the room for other purposes.
I was somewhat surprised to see a single hammock still hanging from wall to wall. It was odd to observe one hammock stretching across the center of the room. The wife grabbed me by the hand and led me to the hammock; the father walked beside me. In the hammock a beautiful baby lay wrapped in a blanket. She had such beautiful olive skin, and had that newborn radiance of innocence. I smiled, believing they were requesting I pray for their new baby. Therefore, I was startled to notice that both parents were weeping. Noting my confusion the interpreter informed me they indeed wanted me to pray for the baby. I made a gesture of prayer with my hands and both parents nodded. I reached my right hand toward the child’s head, however the mother pulled my hand away and first unwrapped the child from the blanket.
I understood their tears. Both of the baby’s hips were horribly malformed, and its legs were shriveled and painfully curved. I looked into the faces of the parents and the tears made me fight back my own. I reached my hand forward again but now it slightly trembled. I prayed they would not notice the trembling. As I placed my hand on the baby I stood silently for what seemed like minutes, though it was probably only one minute at most. In that moment I realized the baby would never have access to health care. Born in poverty this child was destined for poverty. I envisioned the child sitting on a sidewalk near the market, begging for coins as I had witnessed so many doing on my trips to the marketplace.
I began to pray and my voice choked. Without asking, both mother and father placed their hand on my shoulders and prayed. I prayed for God to open doors of healing and to send people into the family’s life that could help the child have an education and a future. There have been moments over the years when my prayers seem to come from some deep place in my soul, as if someone was helping me. In Romans 8 Paul wrote that when we do not know how to pray the Spirit helps us, with “utterances too deep for words.” This was one of those tender yet powerful moments. I now felt a weariness unlike my tired body. I felt spiritually drained, as though all I could offer was in that prayer. I wondered how I made it through the prayer both spiritually and emotionally. As I turned to leave the parents thanked me with hugs and radiant faces. As I left the interpreter walked with me. I asked him, “Were they praying for their baby too?”
“No,” he answered. “They were praying for you.” I walked the remainder of the way in silence. I knew in the depths of my heart I had just experienced a “God moment.” It was one of those moments when the presence of God was as real as the people standing in the room; and, it was a moment as tender and sweet as a newborn baby. I do not know what happened to the baby; but I knew the child was in the arms of Jesus. It was the best place in the world for the baby to live. I thank God for those moments that help us say with certainty, “I believe in the goodness of God in a painful, imperfect world.”
D. Craig Rikard
March 12, 2012 at 12:15 am
Please share this very well done trailer for my book. Lisa did a tremendous job.
Please share. I would be grateful. Shalom. I would be grateful. Shalom
D. Craig Rikard
March 12, 2012 at 12:13 am
in our cupboard sits an aging, slightly ragged toy giraffe. Its head turns when you wind it and it plays a short childish ditty. It sits on that shelf an entire year and is brought out for one day. Every Thanksgiving we place it in the center of our table. It is the symbol of our deep and earnest gratitude to God for for our kids and grandchild. When our first daughter, Heather, entered our life 32 years ago, I went shopping that night and purchased that stuffed animal as her first toy. Gail and I decided that every Thanksgiving we would place it in the center of our table to remember the greatest expression of God’s love in our lives, outside of the Christ, was our kids and granddaughter. The older I grow the more emotional the moment comes t place it, offer the prayer and wind it to hear that annual song of gratitude. In the Bible God’s people constructed altars, consecrated places and enacted rituals for the sake of remembering God’s goodness. That giraffe is ours. How much longer can it continue to play? How long before it is so worn and tattered it loses its attractiveness? Never. Its beauty and power lie not in the it looks or sounds. It is the memories of laughter through the years, the sound of the kid’s voices in church choirs that will always resound through its worn exterior and weakening internal parts. Those realities are untouchable by time.
D. Craig Rikard
November 23, 2011 at 12:05 pm
Marriage, family, faith: Aging
Don’t Grieve for what isnt happening
The other day I threw myself a great pity party, I mean a good one. There comes those moments when we realize we are older. It isn’t that we just look or feel older; we realize we ARE OLDER. It is just the truth. I began to feel as though I had one foot on the grave and wondered how many years I still had before that moment. Naturally, it wasn’t a pleasant pity party. But then I reminded myself that Christians never journey toward death. Our journey is always towards life. Death is nothing more “the movement from one realm of reality into another.” Jesus said in John 14 “I come to take to myself,” at the point of death. That means he meets us before we slip into some state of non-consciousness. We are spiritually awake when he comes, andwhen our breath stops we are stil with him on the other side. Do I look forward to that moment? No. I love life, and I hate saying goodbye to those I love. But the transition from this life to the next is inevitable. What I need to do is stop grieving as one headed toward an ending. What is heaven like? I really do not know all that awaits. Since God is there and love reigns supreme, that will do. I have concluded it is best to enjoy all of this as though I am in a great party, and I am, a party of the celebration of life and love. Then, a day will come when the next party begins, a fiesta of life, an eternal festival of love. For what more can I ask?
D. Craig Rikard
November 14, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Beautifully said. Louise
A. Louise
November 14, 2011 at 9:14 pm
Aging: Marriage and Family; Faith
“I Want to Make a Significant Deposit”
Most of us set aside a drawer to collect our receipts until we have the opportunity to make a deposit. This drawer is almost always removed from the family’s day to day traffic. It is in a secluded area and offers protection against loss. The deposit itself needs to be made as quickly as possible. If not, we have too much on hand and not enough where it needs to be. Also, the risk increases of something happening to what is stored before we can deposit it.
God has blessed us with gift upon gift in life. We experience being loved, and loving. We laugh, we feel so much for another we cry, and we experience those all too rare moments of utter serentiy. Christ never intended for us to be a “lockbox,” so tightly protecting the gifts of life that at the end we can turn them over to God and say, “Here is everything you gave me. I did not allow one iota out of my hands, not one moment of love, joy sentimentality to slip from my grasp.” In contrast Jesus taught us to risk giving it all in the name of liberating love. He asked, “What does it gain a person to win the entire world and lose their own soul?” He was also asking, “What do we gain at the end of life, if all we have to show for it is over-protective hording?” The answer is obvious: NOTHING! We not only do not gain anything, we lose. We lose every oppportunity that presented itself. We lose the mystical, eternal, unexplainable experience of loving another for nothing but the sheer joy of giving love. We have too often heard that if we risk loving another we will be loved in return. What we lose in this shallow understanding of giving and love is the truth that the act of loving is its own reward. Risking everything to love another teems with experiences of serenity, meaning, hope, etc. I hate to use “etc.” but there are moments in life that are indescribable and beyond the scale and range of human semantics. It is, as St. Paul might have said, the language of the angels. It was Paul who thanked God for his “inexpressable gift.” Even in the Apostle John’s Gospel he exhausts his vocabulary in describing what Jesus’ choice to risk the full expression of his love for the world meant and means. “For God SO loved the world.” We use the tiny word “so” because we have no other word. John could have written, “For God loved the world.” It would have made sense, and it would have been true. However, it could not capture what the love of God in Christ meant, implied and accomplished in the world. Thus, John could only say that God SO loved the world.
In life, marriage, family-life, and every moment of life we are to give away what God has given through others. Even if it is costly. If it cost us the full, true, revelation of what we feel for another, and what others mean to us; if we must reveal what we value above all else and that for which we are even willing to die, then we are to give it. Only as the drawer is emptied and deposited in the lives of others can we continue to fully receive what others want to give to us. Spirituality is the act of giving, receiving, giving, receiving, etc. This is why the metaphor of breathing is perfect. We take in a breath and exhale. If we stop in any one of these actions we cease to live. We cannot take in a breath and hold it, nor can we exhale and not take in a breath. In our beginning, our Genesis, the Bible reads, “And God breathed into us and we became “living souls.”
Most of us could use a good emptying of our storage drawer. Fear causes us to horde. But as John wrote, “Perfect love casts out all fear.” If we truly love God, creation, others, the world, we find the courage to give no matter what. Circumstances dod not dictate what we give. We give because it is what it means to live in the fullest sense of the word.
D. Craig Rikard
November 1, 2011 at 3:40 pm
Marriage, Family, Faith: Regret, “It’s Never Too Late.”
It was the most peaceful time of day. I love that moment just before the sun sets, when it seems to splash color all over the clouds and everything in creation appears still. However, my dad could hardly sit still on the back porch. He was around 70 and his nervous movements were unlike him. I knew something weighed heavily on his mind, something so depressing he had to “get it out.”
I loved my dad and he loved me. However, he was a quiet man all of my life; he was too quiet. Living in a house with an addicted mother and her abusive behavior toward my sister sent me into the world as “damaged goods.” I ached to understand so much of what happened, and didn’t happen. This son needed to hear from his father.
Some might have believed it was too late. Mom was dead, I was married with two children and feeling the transitional pains of approaching mid-life. Yes, in some ways it was too late. I still carry too much pain and have not yet found that measure of serenity I know God desires for each of us. But, that afternoon Dad opened the door into his heart, Each of us has a door behind which we store severe pain. That day Dad opened the door and invited me in.
He shared many of the “Why(s), “What’s”, “How(s)?” Pieces of my childhood began to fit, moving me nearer to wholeness. Perhaps the most precious gift that day was his difficult choice of sharing with me the reasons behind the distance he allowed to develop over those early years. Time seemed suspended as he talked, and I have no real accurate idea of how long he talked. It was long enough to place me on the path toward healing, but not long enough to address all of the questions I carried through life.
Still, it took great courage for him to share with his son at that stage of life. We had established a stronger relationship a few years prior to that day. But that afternoon marked a moment of transformation so loving and strong both of us left different men. I loved him more than ever, and deeply respected him and the agonizing choices he was forced to make.
Did he wait too long? Yes and no. Would I encourage every alienated father and son to seek reconciliation even after years of being estranged? Yes! No, that afternoon did not answer all of my questions, or heal every wound I suffered. But I cannot imagine my life without it. I have faced painful moments I never expected since that talk. The love and strength I experienced that day empowered me to keep walking forward. More than anything, I left wanting to be a better father, a father who talked more, listened more intently, and lived in great determination that I would not face death with great regret in my life.
It’s never too late to love.
D. Craig Rikard
October 7, 2011 at 12:53 am
Addiction: The Enabler
The enabler. It is the spouse who fears losing their mate, for intervention could trigger such a force of anger from the addict that they choose to leave. It is the parent who does not want to see their child in jail overnight, or to have their child’s addiction exposed out of concern for what others might think of them or their child. It is the child who is afraid of embarrassment should their peers learn of Mom or Dad’s addiction; therefore, they cover up. It is the friend who fears igniting a confrontation with their addicted friend. It is the neighbor, Sunday School class member, even pastor who fears getting involved for involvement is costly in terms of time and emotional investment.
Note the common denominator: FEAR. Enablers are always afraid. But exactly who are we protecting when we enable an addict who is a part of our life? The answer is NOT the addict. The only reality from which we protect them is exposure of their addiction and the accompanying hurt they feel. No, we protect ourselves. When faced with conflict we engage in the old “fight or flight” response. Should we fight the addiction we are going to take some shots. We are going to be accused of betrayal, of being a poor friend, poor spouse, inconsiderate child, etc. Believe me, it is far easier to flee. We flee by ignoring and covering the destructive behaviors of the addict. No one enjoys conflict. It is indeed costly. We are accused of uncaring behavior. Other family members and friends who are enablers may join the addict in hurling such accusations.
The term conflict itself implies “battle”, two sides pitted against one another. No one helps the addict without cost and probably suffering some emotional pain of their own. However, we must ask ourselves, “What is the higher good, the nobler action, the most redemptive purpose in which we should involve ourselves? It is not avoiding the destructive behavior of the addict so that we might experience less trouble. Real love acts even when it is tough to act, when it costs, and when it hurts. Christianity teaches that it was the suffering and death of Jesus for a broken world that proved the greatest expression of love in human history. And, it was a “chosen” suffering on his part.
Why take on pain and suffering for an addict versus enabling them? Because love is the only transforming power wiht which I am aware. We may or may not be able to help the addict through choosing not to enable them, allowing instead their addiciton to come to light. However, we have done the greatest thing we can do. Often such tough love does not witness its desired effect immediately; instead it is choosing to love over a long period of time, never giving up, remaining strong when enabling would be easier, that might one day reap its reward.
Addicts do not need enablers. They have plenty. They have friends that use and abuse, and others they manipulate regularly. Often what they do not have is that person who loves them so deeply they will gladly take on the conflict, suffer the accusations, and even risk losing “connection” with the addict.
An enabler accomplishes one thing: they enable an addict to remain an addict. Addiction leads the addict in one direction only: downward, into destruction of relationships, of their future, of their health, even to the point of death. It is far better and nobler to love the addict enough to refuse enabling them, and even to live with them angry at us, than to know we have helped them stay on a downward course of utter destruction.
D. Craig Rikard
September 26, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Addiction: Wholeness: An Integrated History
In childhood we slowly integrate a fragmented world. One of the reasons a child experiences separation anxiety is because when the parent leaves, the child is unaware that another room even exists. The parent, to them, just disappeared. However, over time the child will learn of the existence of a larger world and integrate it into their perception of life. Thus, the anxiety lessens.
Any obstacle to the process of integration can result in a dysfunctional perception of life. For example, in homes that suffer from parental drug addiction, small children experience a fragmented reality. They will learn that there is one life at home, and another life outside of the home. The two are distinct and cannot meld. The addict forbids the child saying anything to anyone about their addiciton and the dysfunctional behaviors that accompany addiction. Such fragmentation of their world can affect personality development. A child forced to keep “the family secret”, living one way at home and another outside may experience a fragmented personality. They may experience great swings in their moods, from depression to manic energetic outbursts. Their behavior confuses friends and peers..
Others experience “historical fragmentation.” The past can represent so much pain and confusion, as the child enters adulthood they may live trying to avoid thinking about the past. Any stimuli that causes them to consider their past is avoided and shunned. For them, their history began when they “left home,” the world of their parent’s addiction. What happened there is thus buried deep within the psyche.
However, we were not created to live in fragmentation. We are to be whole, integrated. Eventually, the psyche will scream, will cry for healing. Like the physiological body that always seeks to heal itself, the wounded psyche seeks the same. As adults attempting to forget out pasts, we will run ourselves into emotional exhaustion. It requires tremendous energy to engage in emotional denial. It is exhausting to don a mask, revealing to ourselves and others only what is comfortable while behind the mask lurks the painful past. As soon as weariness allows that mask to drop or crack, the past seeps into the present.
These are the crisis moments when God calls us toward healing. If we dare seek help and face the past, attempt to come to terms and master a childhood we have tried so hard to avoid, we can move toward healing. However, the temptation to avoid facing that past is strong. All journey’s toward healing expose us to some level of discomfort. Change itself is difficult after we have grwon accustomed to living behind mask, living in denial. Should we move away from healing in these crisis moments, battling the exhaustion and depression until we feel strong enough to take off and run again in our world of denial, will only lead to another moment of crisis, another moment of exhaustion.
Children from homes of addiction, or from homes of painful memories need help early in life to integrate their easily fragmented existences. Intervention from caring individuals can save children from a lifetime of fragmented living. The price of burying the past, and fragmenting our personal history is great. It leads only to exhaustion and the sense of never feeling quite comfortable in one’s own skin.
Adults like me, who run into exhaustion as a result of their inability to meld their childhood with their present and future, must take that step toward healing integration. With the help of God and insightful others, we can learn to master those memories, force them to become teachers of what is healthy and unhealthy. We can allow that painful past to empower us to engage in helpful ministries to other adults who share common childhood pain.
I have chosen to allow the pain of my childhood to inspire me to bring awareness to others of the plight of small children living in homes of addiction. Hopefully, if enough of us recognize the effect of parental drug abuse on their small children, we will become bolder in our attempts to rescue those children, and their parents. However one chooses to take hold of their past, it is important to realize the importance of owning an integrated history. Our childhood, adolescence, and adulthood should contain threads of consistent love and care that bind them together. The greater the stages and phases of life are integrated, the greater our ability to find peace and live in wholeness.
D. Craig Rikard
September 23, 2011 at 3:01 pm
Human Suffering: “Why God?”, “I Want the Answer!”
The Old Testament people of God embraced a rather simple perspective of life. If a person obeys God and God’s covenant their life will be blessed. However, if they disobey suffering should be expected. However, Job suddenly discovered that life was complex. He lost almost all of the blessings of life. As he wrestled with the confusion of loss, his three friends reminded him his loss could only be attributed one factor: Job must have disobeyed God. Therefore, he began to search his heart for his wrongdoing. However, honestly, he could not find one. In the end, there remained only one recourese. Job knew that God knew the answer and consequently interrogated God. He wanted to know why, as a good man, he and those he loved suffered.
However, the last word belongs to God; it always does. We might find it interesting that God did NOT answer Job’s question. Instead, God responded to it with a question, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?”” The question was rhetorical; God knew Job was not present and Job was forced to admit the same. Why did God ask him this question? How did this interaction speak to suffering?
First, God owes us no answer for our questions about suffering. We often forget we are the work of the Creator, the one who spoke heaven and eath into existence. It is always beneficial to remember that we “are like the dust.” This was the discovery of Job. Life is a gift. We are promised friendship, comfort and strength. However, life can be complex and much of it is mysterious. Only God knows the purposes fulfilled in suffering. Only God can take the most vicious moments God hurls at us and transform them into moments that change life for the better. Suffering is wrapped up in the mystery of life, a mystery known only by the one who created all things and spoke them into existence.
So what do we do when our pain terrifies us and we just can’t understand it? We learn the response that restored Job’s life. Job confessed, “Though God slay me, yet I will trust him.” Solomon in Ecclesiastes said the same. After recongizing the complexity of life he concluded, “It is the duty of man to trust God.” We must trust that God is doing what we cannont see, but know it is loving; for God has revealed in Christ that he is loving and kind and we can trust in that truth.
D. Craig Rikard
September 14, 2011 at 7:48 pm
Addiction: “The Other Side”
There are many individuals who truthfully suffer and would benefit from certain medications, but are so afraid of ad3diction or the stigma of taking medications that they choose to suffer. First, it is a good thing to be afraid. We should never lose that fear. That fear can be the very dynamic the keeps us within safe parameters when using the medicaiton. But no one should suffer when there is help available. There is a great difference between the addict and the person who truly suffers:
1. The addict almost always seeks to escape life and every responsibility related to it. The truly suffering person only wants too participate in life, not withdraw. The reason they take the medicaiton, under strict doctor’s guidance, is to participate as fully in life as possible.
2. The addict longs for the euphoria or sedation from the drug. The sick person does not like the euphoria and sedation for they hinder full participation. Today there are time released pain medicaitons for exmaple that when taken CORRECTLY do not create euphoria or sedation. Addicts will try to powder these time released meds to get a high, whereas the suffering person takes it as it is intended for it controls their pain without the euphoria. Again, they do not want to become numb to life, they want to feel life as God intended.
3. The truly sick person will take the medication as prescribed and use one doctor.They will consult regularly with the doctor. The addict “self-medicates”. If amount A does not create the strong euphoria it once did, they will increase the med on their own and lie to the doctor about it. They also tend to find more than one doctor so they can increase dosages while trying to make it appear they are using it correctly. If the addict runs out of their prescribed med, and they always do, they will begin the “emergency room pilgrimage” (what I call it). They will visit emergency room in different towns and believe it or not do not seek a shot. They will take the shot, but they want a prescription to go with it..
4 One certain way to know whether a loved one is an addict or genuinely in need of medication is that if give the choice they would rather do anything but take the medication and have their life structured around it. The addict doesn’t mind. As a matter of fact the drug is their life and they will expend creative energy just to take it, when the suffering will pray for the body to get better opes of one day not taking the med at all.
5. Again, the truly sick lives in fear of the meds they take. They will read, ask the doctor and become informed about all the dangers and side effects. The addict loses all fear. They will eventually swallow massive amounts of the medicaiton to gain euphoria. These masive amounts will one day suppress breathing and the beating of hte heart resulting in death.
So if you have a loved one taking potentially addictive medications for a condition, remember they may be truly sick and in need of the medication. The medicaiton is prescribed because there are few meds that can often touch the amount of pain in which some people live. Be in touch with them, and their life! If they are afraid of the med, dislike any side effect, and do not like having to worry about having enough medication of they go on a trip, they are almost certainly not an addict. If all they want is to join life, play with their kids and grandkids, spend time with their spouse, quality time, they are the ones the medications were created to help. Remember, every medication was developed because it helped the suffering. If the loved one has thrown caution to the wind, would rather not participate in family functions, seem to be “on the prowl” alway s to find a drug, visit emergency rooms too much, and visit too many doctors for the same condition, or complain of many different problems with all needing pain treatment or anxiety medications, it is time to become involved in their life because almost certainly they have started down the path of destruction that not only risks their own life, but will harm the life of all who love them and care for them.
D. Craig Rikard
September 3, 2011 at 12:07 pm
Marriage and Family; Addiction
This week E! Network is running “Elvis Specials.” Some of his observations and statements near the end of his life are quite revealing. Like many adored superstars, Elvis succumbed to horrific loneliness. Many define loneliness as isolation. Yet, Elvis rarely lived alone. The loneliness he experienced, as do many of us, is to have people love the person we portray ourselves to be. Everyone wears various “social masks,” for we want others to see us in a particular light, or have them believe we are confident and in control of our life when in reality we feel absolutely unanchored. In the latter two years he searched for what he called “The God Experience.” Sadly, too many well-intended Christians lead people to believe that unless they encounter God on an emotional mountaintop, in the thunder and lightening, in an “other-worldly experience,” they are not God’s child. It is upsetting enough to feel that others do not know us and love us; but one of the most disconcerting feelings is birthed from when we believe that we are not at peace with God. This is the ultimate experience of feeling unanchored. This is true loneliness.
Near his death Elvis said, “I would rather feel nothing than feel this pain” (he was speaking of the inner loneliness that haunted him 24/7 ). In this simple expression we hear one of basic causes of drug addiction. I include alcoholism in the term “drug addiction” for it is a drug. Tranquiizers become abused when the individual seeks to avoid feeling inner pain and isolation. The cure for loneliness is meaningful relationships that are genuine and honest. As a Christian, this is a central truth to my faith. Jesus offers us the truth that we have ALWAYS been loved by God, and that love is irrevocable. This truth anchors us in the eternal when life tosses us to and fro. When we realize we are loved by God as we are, the door of our heart opens to others. Significant relationships can be formed, relationships that withstand the difficult tests every relationship encounters.
However, when we fail to accept this simple truth and continue to believe God can be experienced only in the “out-of-this-world” moments. We never seem to possess that serenity that comes from knowing God’s love is always present and available.
There are individuals who need tranquilizers for a specific length of time, determined by a doctor, and for a specific condition. However, when an individual finds in the euphoria of tranquilizers the inner serenity that seems elusive to them in life, addiction begins to enslave them. The “serenity” they experience is not serenity at all. It is a transient, manufactored feeling that disappears as soon as the medication loses its effect. Elvis was correct. He was experiencing NOTHING instead of the emotional pain.
In closing out this PART ONE section on “Preferring Nothing Over Pain,” we must understand that SOMETHING is there, or rather SOMEONE. The heart can find company, companionship, authentic peace through Christ. All we are must do is accept this great truth, and trust it. We need to live as one who knows the value of living in honesty and truth. It is then that we begin to see the open doors and possibilities that God’s love opens. Christians can attest that people now are present in their life they would otherwise never know. There are people who are trustworthy, loving, and dependable. They are the gifts of love.
D. Craig Rikard
August 16, 2011 at 9:58 am
Loneliness, feeling “unanchored,” and the resulting emotional pain can lead to drug addiction or abuse of tranquilizers–yes! But it might not happen if someone believes all things about the suffering person and consistently conveys heartfelt affirmations to him or her. The trouble is how do we learn to do this; how do we love a person in spite of the person’s rejection, isolation or other ugliness. We do this by recognizing that God loves us unconditionally–warts and all–even when we reject him. This revelation challenges and encourages us to love and believe in others, At least, as well as we humans can do it.
Edwin Chase’s book, “God’s Relentless Love,” shows that God really loves us even though our inner voice crys out “I don’t measure up!” Once we get it; i.e, God knows I don’t measure up, but loves me anyway, we overcome our blindness. We finally get the “God-me” relationship right, then we are better able to build the “significant relationships with others” that Rikard says are so essential. Chase’s book goes on to reveal how hoping all things for others and enduring all things with others are more reflections of how God loves us. God loves us so we may love others.
middleground
September 22, 2011 at 11:33 pm
Marriage; Family; Children: The Power in a Name
In the Old and New Testament eras the name given to a child was deeply anchored in the family’s spirituality. For example, the name Joshua was related to the idea of “leading people into God’s salvation.” A child’s name was not acquired from a “name specialist,” (Yes, in NYC and other large cities there are specialist in helping a couple choose the name for their child), or from a book of names. The name chosen was so important that a special ceremony was held for the “naming of the child.” Some tradition call this service “the Christening,” which means “to name.” In my United Methodist tradition, which emerged from the Anglican Church and its traditions, there is a place in the ritual in which I, as the clergy, ask “What name is given this child?” Therefore, giving our children their name was among their first “rites of passage.” Consequently, the name was not chosen in a whimsical manner, or for reasons of the way “it sounds,” or because it is a popular name at the time. Teachers with twenty years or more will tell you that names run in cycles. There will be large numbers of Britany(s), Paige (s) (yes we did this one, and Heather). Their male classmates are probably Sean(s), Chad(s), Jude(s).
Is there anything wrong with giving our children such names. No. As I admitted, my two daughters and granddaughter have names right out of a list the current culture believed sounded good. However, there were some important considerations we overlooked. First was the spelling of the name. When we register my granddaughter Kamdyn for any function we almost always have to spell it for the person more than once. But what is the big deal about having ato spell your name two or three times? Well, allow your imagination to take you back to the first grades of elementary school. Remember how self-conscious you were? Some cringed with the teacher called out the name and the teacher had it spelled incorrectly. So here you are, six years old, in a class with mostly strangers staring at you, spelling aloud your name to one of the first important authority figures in your life outside of home. If we choose a unique name, let’s at least try to make it easy to spell. “Kamdyn” seemed neat when it was chosen. Yet she is doomed to a life of saying, “It’s not Kamdin, or Kamdan. It’s KamdYn.”
Also, remember children can be cruel in those early years. If we give our child a family name, that is rooted in our family history, we should teach them that it is precious, special and they should be proud no matter what anyone says. However, if we are choosing the name from the “sounds good” list let’s ask ourselves, “Does it ryhme with an embarassing word?” Believe me, children will find that rhyme and have a great time embarrassing the classmate. Again, if the name has special meaning for the family and the child, teach them to stand strong and do not allow anyone to take it away. But many children do not have that kind of inner strength in those early years. Self-confidence is learned over time. Yes, it has to start somewhere and maybe teaching them to embrace their name no matter what is a starting point. Experience however has revealed that trying to defend a name at age five and six is far more difficult than we remember. Let’s do our best, but try to place ourselves in the child’s shoes when we consider a name they will have for life.
I know some of this sounds picky, but children seem to have to really struggle to develop a self-confidence and inner strength that is not dependent upon what their peers think. Just look at the stats on “bullying” in schools and it is alarming. Yes, there were bullies in every school I attended. But today, with the availability of the internet, absentee parenting, and “grang and group” involvement, bullying is a serious problem. We do not need to make the child’s life more difficult than it is.
Here is another “picky” matter involving name choice; and, I will use my own name. My first name is Denver, after my father. It is a name I now like. However, the choice was made at birth that I would use my middle name, Craig. There is nothing wrong with that name either. However, can you imagine how many times I have had to tell teachers, officials, etc. that Craig is my “middle name?” I have heard hundreds upon hundreds of times the question, “Craig, what is your middle name?” I have had my name misprinted on special documents as Craig Denver Rikard. Some actually thought I was going for a “sophisticated” name when I started signing my name, D. Craig Rikard. In reality, it was the only way I knew to say, “Craig is my middle name!!!”
Well, I could nit-pick the subject to death, but I hope we realize that name choice and use is important in a child’s development. It is often a strong factor in the development of their self-esteem. In closing, I would love to see us begin to use “family names” again. Today it is extremely important to know who we are, from where did we come? A few years ago I traced my geneology and emotionally and spiritually benefited from the search. My maternal grandmothers lived in and around Edinborough Scotland (sp?). My great, great great grandmother was a governess in Edinborough Castle. She also lost the position and was placed on a ship to America. She must have done something really upsetting. Help my self-esteem? Not really. But it is fun and precious to know your famly history. It helps to give them historical names that are easy to spell and not too unusual. I hope the day will come when historical family names are considered so special and common that it will not matter if it sounds a little strange, different, or has a unique spelling.
Also, more than anything, I pray name-choices will once again become rooted in the family’s spirituality. Give the child a name of “destiny.” Give them a name with meaning, like a Joshua ( leading people into God’s promised life ) or Deborah and teach them the story of the woman judge who saved the Israelites from a powerful violent army.
Again, just a little ranting, really light ranting, on my part. I just happened to hear a child last week have to repeat the spelling of their name three times while standing in line. The poor kids face blushed and his eyes looked at the floor. My granddaughter came home on day two of this school year saying a boy called her “big teeth.” (She has her front teeth growing in). I realized that the teasing has started for her. She will be teased over physical appearance, choice of clothing, and yes, name. Even if picky, let’s spiritually start to save the self-confidence and esteem of our children as early as possible.
D. Craig Rikard
August 15, 2011 at 9:58 am
Marriage and family: Marital vows
My many years in ministry have revealed that the “final vow” is considered by couples as the “most important.” They will remain through abuse of all kinds (and there are many forms of abuse, not only physical abuse) just to be true to their marital vow to stay until death parts them. What is often missed is this fact: It is the keeping of EVERY other vow that makes it possible for us to keep the final one, and keep it joyfully. Those who have and hold,, love and cherish, who stick it out when they have money or struggle, are sick or healthy are the very ones who joyfully remain together their entire life. If a husband or wife violates and breaks the other vows, they are breaking their word, their promise to their spouse made before God, and ensuring that acrimony ruins their matrimony. People leave marriages long before death, and without a formal divorce. They leave by forsaking a holy, sacred, and loving vow made to the one person they chose to love their entire life. Just keeping the last vow does not say a lot about the validity and strength of the marriage.
D. Craig Rikard
August 9, 2011 at 9:24 pm
Addiction: Family Response
If a family member you love suffers from drug addiction, whether its a street drug or prescription drug, always remember ADDICTION will always be STRONGER than you, no matter how deeply you care. Even the addict will usually admit that their addiction is far stronger than their own personal will. Every addict usually makes promise after promise that “I will quit,” or “I can quit anytime I choose,” only to discover they cannot quit alone. Most addicts are masters at manipulating people, events, circumstances, doctors, druggists, etc. They will allow you to believe you are “getting through” to them, and they may even mean it. However, most often their mind is racing, looking for a way out if not eying a way to use you. One of the first matters rehab addresses, after detox, is to confront the addict with their lying, their pretense and the way they hurt people through manipulation.
As a loving family member, you must accept the reality that you do not have the power to rescue your loved one from addiction. Addiction seizes control of the individual, their body, their mind, their thinking, every facet of their being! Consequently, you are not talking to the person you believe you know. You are speaking THROUGH the fog of medication, and that fog is thick, dense and rarely able to be penetrated even with the deepest love. Yes, we can break through and touch their heart, but the addiction will steal the moment and the addict will quickly return to the master of their life.
There are too many parents trying to talk their kids out of addiction, only to fail time and again. Even interventions on the part of friends will only work if the person immediately is admitted to a unit with professionals. Recognize your inability to conquer an illness that the addict cannot master. Even an addict with faith in God, and you would be surprised at how many profess faith in God, needs the instruments of professional healing God provides.
As a child from a home of addiciton I can tell you honestly that my mother remained in her addiciton and digressed because she never agreed to professional help for her addiction. My father, bless his heart, never realized just how powerful and deadly her addiciton proved to be. We had a powerful disease running rampant through our house and through our lives. I remain convinced that had she agreed to professional care from those specializing in addiction, she would have had a fighting chance.
When you choose to talk with your loved one, either by yourself or with a group of loving friends and family, have a bed in a unit ready AHEAD of TIME. Be prepared to accept nothing short of their admission to professional care. Once there, their faith, the love invested in them by family, the care of friends can begin to work in the addict’s life. A professional unit will first rid the addict of the fog created by the drug through detox. Then the addict can hear more clearly. If they have used manipulation and lying to advance their disease, professional care will confront the pretense until the addict realizes it is no longer useful. In other words, every facet of addiction that keeps the addict from full receiving loving messages, that keeps them from doing what they know they must do to break free is removed. Then truth can penetrate and liberate.
Can the addict remain clean after leaving professional care? With a supportive loving community that removes them from the “drug community” that has served as the supportive group for their addiction,, and good solid choices on their part the oddss are in their favor.
In closing, family member, stop trying to overcome a nemesis so much stronger than you! God has provided so many opportunities that can really work.
D. Craig Rikard
July 31, 2011 at 8:54 pm
Faith and family: Aging: Ministry to the Aging
Part II
Many of us probably expressed frustration over our parents “hurry” in their older years. When my dad asked that we help him do something, he meant NOW. We struggled to understand the rush. What diffference could a day make? Well, to a person in the later stages of life, a lot! It finally dawned upon me that time was becoming more and more a precious gift to him. Also, if we are not careful we might sent an unintentional message, I pray unintentional< that other things are "more important" than their request.
Churches should be careful to note the value of time to its aging members. Some ask, why are they always early to services, and especially family night suppers? Believe me, it has absolutely nothing to do with hunger, but has everything to do with fellowship. They enjoy the company of others and realize how precious that company is. And attending services early? They were taught to be on time! One thing that should never happen, is to not keep a promise to an older member. Do not promise you will be there Tuesday and not show. It hurts. Never call them up and give them a litany of the "important things you have to do" instead, and that you will get back to them as soon as you can. Ask yourself, is what I'm doing really so important I can put them off?
I learned the value of time the most painful way possible. The nurse walked out of the emergency room and asked if I wanted to keep my father hooked to a machine, or just let him go peacefully. I knew how he felt about machines and as difficult as it was I told her to let him do to God. I thought I would have time to say goodbye. He died eight seconds after I gave permission. Eight seconds seemed and still seems like a lifetime. All of us could learn that time is a gift, and the people with whom we share time are precious. Never take it for granted or abuse it, not even eight seconds.
D. Craig Rikard
July 23, 2011 at 9:05 pm
Faith, Marriage, Family: Churches and Aging
After thirty plus years as a pastor, I cannot adequately guess how many meetings I have attended in which someone said, “We have to reach our youth!” I believe that statement is true. However, I struggle to recall meeting in which outreach to the aging and aged were discussed. Every church I served had a large population of people 65 plus years old. However, we assume that since most possess a vital faith in God, they have settled into the comfortable years of life, and are well-equipped spiritually and emotionally to deal with any issues that arise. As one moving into the latter years of life I now realize that life is indeed more comfortable; by that I mean that most of us have learned to be comfortable in our own skin, and share a comfortable love with our spouse. However, some of the issues we face are as terrifying as ever, perhaps even moreso.
Most of us are not afraid of what happens after we die, but we do share a fear of dying. The manner in which we leave this life remains frightening to all of us. No one, no matter how young or old, wants to suffer. Whereas death once seemed far away, it now seems nearer, sometimes too near. Almost all of us have lost one or both parents; and, we have attended the funerals of dear friends. Another myth is that the aged and aging are economically secure. Sadly, many of the baby boomer generation have either managed our money poorly, or have had current economic circumstances wipe away years of savings. Notice how many people over 65 years of age are working as clerks or in positions they can physically handle. Too many have been forced to take jobs easy on the body but difficult on the bank account; a lot of those jobs pay only enough to help the elderly make ends meet. The dream of the “golden years” of retirement no longer exists.
The lists of “woes” could certainly be extended. Yet, most people in the latter years of life do not like being “victims” or dependent on others. Maintaining their dignity is a high priority, and complaining does not add to one’s personal dignity. I write all of the above to remind churches that the population of the aged need ministry as much as anyone. I can tell you exactly what people over 65 years of age need from churches:
1. Appreciation. Most of the older members have been in the pew for years, through struggle and plenty.
They have worked through difficult decisions, maintained the buildings, probably helped build many of
them, and served in numerous positions. These represent the “great generation.” They served in war
out of a deep sense of duty. “Doing one’s part” was and remains a vital value to which they adhere.
Most are not looking for a trophy or plaque. A simple “thank you,”, or feeling of being appreciated by a
congregation.
2. A genuine sense of feeling needed. Most gifts and graces do not disappear. As a matter of fact, they
are s trengthened through a wealth of experiences in life. Yes, many are physically incapable of serving
in more rigorous ministries, as they did years earlier. Still, there are many places of service where they
provide meaningful ministry for others. Even if they cannot serve due to physical difficulties, most just
like being asked.
3. Visits. Yes, I know many elderly people need more time than a minister can offer regarding visitation. I
am not speaking of crisis intervention; but rather just sitting down and asking, “How are you doing?”
This may not sound like a major priority when considering the total scope of a church’s ministry.
However, for the elderly person, who lives alone, who has lost many if not most of their friends, and who
rarely gets to see family members, that question is gold. They also highly value the attention of their
minister. He or she is often the physical expression of God’s presence in their life. If a church can
create a visitation team to regularly visit it makes a great difference in their life. However,as a
clergyperson I realized that others COULD NOT take my place. The pastor still represents their church
and they want to see their pastor. Therefore, I learned to structure my visits around special days in
their lives, while the visitation team visited regularly. I tried to visit on their birthday, anniversary (when
they had lost their loved one), at least two weeks before Christmas, and a follow-up at least two weeks
after. I did the same before and after Easter. The larger the congregation the more difficult the
visitation. However, the congregation and personel committee can make the visitation possible. The
congregation is willing to allow their minister to visit their older members by not demanding his or her
presence at some meetings or other activities. The personel committee can help the pastor balance
their time, so the minister’s family time, need for rest and spiritual renewal are maintained. However it is
done, the aging membership needs someone to “be present,” in their home as an expression of care.
4. Visitation in crisis. I learned the hard way never to judge what is a crisis and what is not. What seems
simple surgery can be major to another. If the person feels afraid, and lets you know it is a serious
matter to them, it IS a serious matter. I remember picking up a fellow clergyman to play golf years ago
when his son ran out the front door and informed him a woman just called to remind him she was
having knee surgery in about two hours. I immediately assume our golf outing was canceled but
without hesitation he said, “Let’s go, she is always having something done.” In the following days
he had an angry, hurt older member on his hands. Yes, it was a rather simple procedure. However,
she had trouble with the stabilization of her blood pressure the last surgery, and almost slipped
away. She was terrified. Her pastor wasn’t there.
End Part I
D. Craig Rikard
July 15, 2011 at 3:57 pm
This is a beautiful evaluation of ministry to older adults. You have done a better job than most of us. I trust this essay will find its way into the right minds; if so, it will be a perpetual blessing. Thank you, dear friend, for your valuable insights, and for sharing them.
With deep appreciation,
Carter
Carter Berkeley
July 15, 2011 at 6:05 pm
Addiction: Don’t Post Messages!
One of the greatest mistakes we make in dealing with addicts is to UNDERESTIMATE their devotion and determination. An addict will find a way to secure any mood altering medicaiton within reach; and, their reach is longer than most can conceive. Their creativity will astound you. A recent television program revealed one of the creative scams used in large cities. The addict rummages through trash taken to the curb until they find a receipt for a major department store. Scanning the receipt they will find an item of value that can easily be returned without rousing suspicion. Never forget, the addict believes far more in human kindness, and our dislike of conflict than we do. They assume the store clerk would rather not challenge the return of a picture frame,for such a challenge requires that they accuse the customer of dishonesty. The clerk knows that it is almost certain that the customer will be offended and words will be exchanged. Therefore, the assumption is made that the clerk would rather return the item than risk “creating a scene.” The addict will find the item on the receipt, enter the store and pick up a new one. They will then take the item and receipt to the clerk, telling the employee they purchased the item and did not need it after all. A refund is requested. What if the store doesn’t give refunds? Ready of a shock? The addict knows the stores refund policy before they walk through the door. The item from the shelf is returned to the clerk, and with a little paperwork the clerk refunds money to the addict. The addict exits the store and heads for their dealer.
These bright, creative youth and adults, from EVERY walk of life are always on the prowl, observing, listening, recognizing opportunities and seizing them. Therefore, do not post messages where drugs are! Sound like an alarmist? I am, and, I am responding appropriately in this culture. I learned to exercize care in what I announced from my lecturn and pulpit in church. Worship is the gathering of caring, loving individuals who are concerned for one another. You would probably be suprised at how often we inform the congregation as to who is very sick, going through a very difficult time emotionally due to crises they face, or fighting horrible pain from an illness or injury. Often we ask people to pray for someone who has just entered hospice care. Ready for another shock? From the pulpit and lecturn we just informed the addicts and abusers present where the homes are in which tranquilizers or painkillers sit atop bedstands, in bathroom medicine cabinets, or in kitchen cabinets where the family keeps all of its medications.
We might think, “Well, in our congregation of 2 to 6 hundred people there isn’t anyone that would break into a home and steal,”; and, they are probably correct. But we just fell for the most accepted myth regarding drug abuse. We assume all addicts and abusers come from low income homes. Drug addiction crosses all socioeconomic lines. The man in the $500 suit, or woman in the expensive business suit, sitting in a large office with great business clout can be an addict as easily as the down and out young adult. When they hear of a fellow church member, suffering great pain, they may just pop in for a visit, probabaly two or three. They will scout out the home until they know where the medications are. Evenutally it will be time for the dear suffering person to need their medications. The addict will, unknowingly to the family, observe exactly where those medications are kept. A request to use the restroom allows them to examine the medicine cabinet.
Sadly, elderly people who often keep their medications near the bed are easy prey for the “good Christian addict.” When the family is out of the room for a lengthy period of time, the addict can pocket a few tablets when the elderly saint nods off, or looks upward for laying flat on their back, etc. If the visitor is caught, they can say, “I’m sorry but they must be confused. Does the medications effect them that way?” This cast doubt as to the mental stability of the loved one they already feel they are losing. This is not only taking advantage of the person, it is an act of cruelty, adding more suffering to the one already in agony.
How did I learn of this little, cruel trick. It breaks my heart to say a clergyman. An associate pastor in Birmingham, Ala. visited the sick and homebound in the church. He quickly earned the trust of the members. The elderly value those who visit them and are deeply grateful for such visits. He learned where all the medications are stored and took enough to maintain his habit without rousing suspicion. He confessed that he counted upon the elderly not to count the number of tablets, and if they did and came up short, they would assume they miscounted. Remember, the addict will find a way to secure their drugs.
Never offer information or make such information accessible. Make sure your church doesn’t post in newsletters, mailouts, bulletins info about who is under hospice care, or being treated for pain. Do not give specifics. We can say “pray for Joe, and Mary, and Tom.” Enough said. The family will let those they CHOOSE to inform the specifics. God knows what is needed for the person so printing those specifics are of no value. We do not need to know of pain levels, surgical procedures, hospice care, etc to care about another, or to include them in our prayers. Don’t pass info.along through telephone lines, or while standing in groups. Where do we think our young get the drugs they take to parties, or distribute at school? From the medicine cabinets at home. How do they learn who has drugs and where they can be acquired? From internet info and a new “language” adults are finding more difficult to decode.
We are learning to accept greater parameters around our lives when we prepare to fly. We know we live in a culture with new dangers and terrorist that are well-informed and know how to amass the information they need. Well, here is an alarm bulletin: Addicts and those who abuse drugs are greater in number, are no longer easy to detect for they easily cross the sterotypical lines formed in the 1960s and 70s. We are dealing with addicts with great creativity and ability to pass that information along the internet.
Therefore, let’s learn to not post messages about the location of drugs within the community in which we live. If we can make access to the drugs harder, and recognize the mythis that hinder our ability to battle the rapidly growing issue of drug addiction, we can begin to make a difference.
D. Craig Rikard
July 13, 2011 at 6:09 pm
Life is more predictable than surprising. It is that upon which we can count that sustains us and keeps us anchored in life. In contrast, it is the unexpected that propels us out of our comfort zones and into places in life that require faith and prayer. These are those moments in life that awaken all that is noble and strong in the human spirit. Remember, almost every constructive endeavor of humanity was born in experiences of pain and struggle. It is our attempt to avoid the destructive elements in life that call forth our most creative thinking and the sacrifice required to transform thinking into action.
Initially, it is the painful unexpected moments that disturb and anger us; these are the times when we ask God, “Why?” The tone we use in that question has a definite, “I don’t think I should be going through this” undertone. It is usually after something positive emerges from the pain that we find it easier to believe God was present in the pain and accomplishing something redemptive.
Some of us are experiencing those moments of unpleasant surprise right now; if not, we eventually will. It would be dishonest for me as a clergyperson to say, “Don’t worry, ignore the pain for God is performing a redemptive act for his high, holy purpose. It is natural for us to worry; for worry is a natural human response in facing painful experiences.
Instead, I encourage you to keep moving. We continue our walk through what David called, “The valley of the shadow of death” through prayer and trust. Prayer allows us to raise our eyes and see God’s “rod and staff” with us in that valley. The Divine Shepherd is with us, and since he is with us, all things move in only one direction: toward the good. Paul wrote in Romans 8 “Everything works toward the good.”
We will finish the journey at Gods banquet table. “There is a table set before me,” and the cup of loving hope “runneth over.” The journey from the valley to the table is a different distance for each person. And, it is our personal journey. No one can make the journey’s that fashion us into stronger men and women of faith and love for us. It is our experience to face, and our walk alone. However, others can surround us with support through prayer and just “being there” for us. We may make the journey alone, but we do not have to make it without company. Jesus took the three disciples closest to his heart into Gethsemane for his personal struggle. We too can ask those we trust, who are near and dear to our hearts to join us. They can not only share the pain with us, as much as is possible, but can sit at that table of joy as well.
You can count on life pushing us out of our comfort zones, into the unknown where some painful experiences await. But remember, we are not walking aimlessly. There is a definite path, walked first by Jesus as he faced his own struggles. He is the one who leads. I believe this is the reason 365 times in the Bible it reads, “Do not be afraid.”
D. Craig Rikard
July 11, 2011 at 8:53 pm
Marriage and family: counseling:insight
Most couples enter the office of the counselor already aware of what changes are needed. They may spend a few sessions accusing the spouse of creating a difficult marriage, and there may be some truth to their assertions. But counseling requires that we FIRST ask, “What do I need to do that allows me to be whole, healthy, giving and loving?” Believe it or not, many if not most individuals know their shortcomings and the transformations needed in their life. The success of counseling, and the length of time needed to bring healing and new beginnings, has everything to do with BOTH spouses’ desire to look in the mirror, acknowledge their own weaknesses, and take the actions necessary to deal with them. If a person is unaware of their own frailties that, in and of itself, is quite revealing. The man or woman that rarely takes inventory of their life, asking “What can make me a better person?” will too frequently be self-centered and lay the entire burden of the marriage on their partner. Not only is this perspective unfair, it makes true healing and progress impossible. Thankfully, most of us know what we need to do. We must choose to deal with those, and trust our spouse to face their own struggles. Then relationships can be renewed, for the process is starting from a position of honesty and humility.
D. Craig Rikard
July 7, 2011 at 5:43 pm
Marriage and family: What do we expect?
Our outlook on life, positive or negative, depends greatly on what we EXPECT. If I set the bar high, too high, I set myself up for constant frustration and feelings of being deprived. There is no destination for me with such high expectations other than to finish life in regret and God forbid, bitterness. There is also the great danger of pushing our children to fulfill the dreams we believe should have been our own. Thus, we rob them of their own life, force them to set aside the special gifts and graces they have, and sadly, live a life that was not of their choosing. Those who learn that all of life is a gift face the end of life contented, thankful for every good experience, and even the painful experiences for they made us strong and wise. Contentment is liberating. A contented man or woman can release their children to be themselves. With joy we can witness them taking wing, and leaving the nest into the wonder of a life that fills them with serenity and feeling comfortable in their own skin. What should we expect? I do not even believe that is the correct question. The question should be, “What should be my response to the gift of life with which God has entrusted me?”
D. Craig Rikard
July 5, 2011 at 9:50 pm
Marriage and Family: Children :You only get one
I don’t think the word procrastination is harsh enough. Perhaps it’s the prefix “pro” which often possesses a positive connnotation. Procrastination is a form of abuse; more accurately, it is an abuse of time. Children suffer from this form of abuse as much as any adult. How often do we tell them, “Not now, later.” “We don’t have time today, we will do it tomorrow.” This list of abusive phrases is rather extensive as they apply to children.
We must never forget that we are privy to one childhood, that’s it. Those earliest years, like all others, are unrepeatable. Furthermore, it is a myth that in some manner we will “make up” for the years we ignored and neglected them. What are most children doing as we engage in procrastination? They are suppressing hurt, internalizing messages that perhaps they are not worth a parent spending time with them, or go to bed each night hoping tomorrow will be the day when Dad or Mom do what they once promised.
Today is all we have. It is the only time we possess and the only moments still in our power. Once the opportunity is neglected, it is forever gone. Though we cannot balance the ledger of what should have been done in days past, we can start now. Time spent together is endowed with tremendous power. It may be too late to recover past days, but it is never too late to help our child feel as though nothing is more important to us than them. As long as we are alive opportunities exist. The only thing with the power to steal that opportunity is our choice to wait.
D. Craig Rikard
June 28, 2011 at 5:05 pm
Devotion: Spiritual Development: “The Next Level”
Recently I noticed competitors employing the phrase, “I want to take my game to the next level.” Contestants on American Idol are repeatedly encouraged to “take their singing to the next level.” Though many performers speak using shallow prepared statements, still, there is truth in the need to progress to a higher level. Christianity is an endless journey into the transforming love of God. The Apostle Paul expressed this journey as “straining forward toward the high calling of God in Jesus Christ.” In contrast, complacency, and self-satisfaction actually diminish our preceptions of truth, and our capacity to love. Complacency means that we are not exposing ourself to new people and thus new experiences. It is this itneraction with others and the experiences we have through those encounteres, that are used by God in our transformation.
In the Bible, almost all change for the people of God occurs through their expericnes with other nations. The same holds true for personal transformation. Men and women are molded and shaped by God as they participate in community. Perhaps there is no expression of this truth than the Old Testament Exodus. We fail to remember that Egypt saved Israel’s life. Their storage of grain, in preparation of a vicious famine, provided Israel with enough meals to live. However, Israel was not created to exist in Egypt. God had a land of promise awaiting them. Rather than journeying onward toward that promise, Egypt settled in Egypt. They remained so long in Egypt, their population grew to the point they threatened Pharaoh. Thus, they became slaves. Remember, what saves us at one point in life can inslave us if we fail to move onward with God.
We can grow too apathetic and satisfied with our daily dose of “spriitual grain.” But, who we can be occurs when we “leave the comfortable” and follow Christ, even at cost. We discover the most noble facets of who we are when we are faced with trials, tests, want, and yes, even suffering. Attempts to insulate ourselvs from life is an exercise in futiity. Life will breat through the thickest walls we build around ourelves. Either life is going to force us out of the comforable, or we will follow God in exodus. Believe me, it is far better to journey with God, experiencing others and life with the knowledge he is with us, than going it alone.
Where are we in our life? Does life feel too “common, ordinary, and lifeless” even when we haev all we once believed necessary to enjoy life to the uttermost? Perhaps its time to listen to God’s call in Christ. Perhaps it is time to strain forward toward a high calling unknown to us right now. Believe me, whe we follow God, we will always become better men and women. In closing, let us hear Paul’s prompting, “Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, nor has it entered into the heart of anyone what God has in store for those who love him.” As a matter of fact, we can’t even imagine it! But, it is not “here,” but “out there,” where God desires to takes us.
D. Craig Rikard
June 21, 2011 at 3:04 pm
Marriage and Family: the Beauty of Aging
Call me dishonest, but you will speak in error. Refer to me as blind, but i see very well. Tell others I am losing it. Well, in some areas of life you might be right, but not this one. I believe women grow beautiful with age, especially the spouse we love. The culture has really performed a disservice for all women. A mother injects her seven year old child with botox to make her more beautiful for beauty contests. Women are forced to eye photo after photo in magazines of airbrushed, dehydrated women. (Many lose as much fluid as possible for a photo shoot in order to appear so thin we can see the outline of thier abdomen. Sick? Certainly! And, don’t get me started on useless cosmetic surgeries.
We hear, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” I believe this is one statement that is true. The question that arises is, “Just what kind of vision do I have, and how did I develop it?” The man who trains his eye to see “from the inside outward, is the man who can actually see that beautiful dynamic called “radiance.” Radiance lights up the eyes, makes her face glow with such a wealth of life you cannot help but admire it. The lines of wisdom so many work so diligently to hide, reveals a “depth of knowing.” Knowing what? Just about everything! Women of age know more, far more than others about love, joy, play, and serenity. Yes, the body changes, and the biological changes occur. But I am teaching my eye to look, not fo what a superficial culture tells me, but rather for what I know in the depths of my heart is truly beautiful. It always has been and always will be.
D. Craig Rikard
June 14, 2011 at 7:35 pm
Devotion: Prayer: The Spirit’s Intercession
With age comes the reality that my words hinder my personal prayers far more than I once thought. Think about it, if we feel we must use language to converse with God, then we must expend great energy trying to think of “what we should say.” We aks, “Am I saying the right thing? Is this a selfish prayer? Do my words please or upset God?” First, I have good news. God is far kinder than we believe. God never withholds grace over the “wording” of prayers. If your child is hungry would you withhold food because your child uses the improper verb? As Luke reminds us, the God does not withhold the gift of his Spirit from those who earnestly seek him. Prayer is far more about heart, and desire. I have more good news. We do not even have to use words, not at all! Each of us has those moments when life is so tough and appears so complex, and even cruel that we are left with a loss for words. Romans 8 informs us that the Holy Spirit intercedes FOR US, with “utterings and groanings too deep for words.” If you feel overwhelmed and prayer feels like an exhausting exercise, just grow quiet and still. In the sacred silence remind yourself that deep within your soul the Spirit is allowing what you feel to flow unbroken, and beautiful into the heart of God.
D. Craig Rikard
June 14, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Devotion: writing: journals
The Gospels are really an indirect form of journaling. The disciples recalled the moments they had with Jesus and later recorded what those events meant to them and could mean to the world. Our relationship with Jesus is hte same. Day after day the Spirit brings light into our life, illuminates moments, and brings meaning to those moments. Write them! You will find as you write them even greater light is experienced, and understanding. Often a memoir is a collection of stories from our life that form a connected message that touches the human spirit, and reveals how connected we are in our humanity. Your life may seem uneventful to you. But, to your children and grandchildren the recording of your life will be gold. Also, you never know when God is going to tap you on the shoulder and say, “Share this; the world needs to hear it.” The writers of memooirs are not “special people,” but they are people who dare to walk into their past, into their own history, joyful and painful. They look at themselves in the mirror and peer into the dark abyss of past pain. Once written, the painful grasp of the past begins to loosen, and should you dare to share it with others, you will find their are more people who share your human experience than you ever dreamed. Even if never published, you have given your family the gift of your nostalgia, your childhood, your laughter and your pain. They can related to you on deeper levels than preciously. What greater gift to give to your children and grandchildren than the knowledge of who you are, what you experienced, and how you experienced life.
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
June 3, 2011 at 11:34 am
Devotion: What About the one suffering?
Jesus healed a man with a withered hand on the Sabbath. An uproar ensued with self-righteous “theologians” questioning whether or not Jesus had broken the Mosaic Law. Jesus responded with a powerful question. Perhaps the most penetrating facet of his answer was “Is it lawful to do good on the Sabbath?” Jesus was basically saying to them, (in my paraphrase), God is loving and good, and the Sabbath is God’s creation, so how could it be unlawful to do good on the Sabbath?”
However, in the debate the man with the withered hand was totally ignored by the theologians. The debate itself became the major issue and concern. Believe me, this occurs more than people realize. Christians can easily step atop soap boxes and argue right and wrong while losing sight of the massive suffering in the world, and even next door. People are rarely touched by our theological insight, and with our ability to “be right.” They are touched by love and care. They must be loved first before they are even concerned with what we think or believe. Love and compassion transform the world, not great arguments. Right thinking is good and necessary for developing a valid view of life and the world. But I find those who love and care in the name of Christ develop a view of the world just as valid. AND, their view of life includes the one standing near with a broken body or pained spirit.
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
June 1, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Marriage and Family: Parenting: Parent as Friend
Parental responsibility for their children has weakened and shifted in definition. Many parents today try to be their child’s friend rather than their parent. Media doesn’t help. It reinforces this stereotypical parent.
You CANNOT be parent and friend. You cannot draw the boundaries that keep your child safe, and that instill values in them, and be their buddy. Here is some, perhaps, awakening news: your children really do not want you as friend! In the years to come they will have desired that you be their parent. They have plenty of friends, but only two parents. Yes, often we fight battles with them over issues and they think we are without sense. However, when we battle over an issue we let our children know that the issue IS IMPORTANT! They want boundaries and want you to care about where they are and what they are doing. Certainly not always, but again, in the long term they will thank you for taking a stand on their behalf and find joy in being able to say to another, “I had a mom and dad who cared about me.”
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
May 31, 2011 at 1:34 pm
Faith: Apocalypse: Harold Camping: May 22,2011 end of world
Harold Camping is stunned his prediction of the end of the world did not come to pass. However, there is something far more upsetting about Camping’s press statement. He said he is “disappointed” the 200 million faithful did not get caught up into heaven WHILE EVERYONE ELSE SUFFERED. The suffering Camping expected for all the “left behind” was to be horrific. How could anyone be disappointed so many did not suffer in a devestating manner? Even people who struggle with Christianity would not want anyone to suffer such a fate, and certainly would never say they were disappointed when it didn’t happen. If their human compassion is that merciful why isn’t Camping and his followers even more merciful? One of the great marks of a Christian should be our compassion for the suffering, marginalized, the forgotten, and the lonely. We are to be beacons of mercy in a cold world. Yet here is a self-proclaimed prophet of Jesus, one who claims to follow Jesus Christ who is actually disappointed suffering on a mass, horrific scale did not occur. Some may say, “Well his emphasis I am sure was on being disappointed Christians did not get to fully enter the Kingdom of God.” Well, think about that. What does it say about us and our faith when “our reward” is what we think about more than anything else, even great human agony!??? We must realize that people are suffering today, in the here and now. No, it may not be on a scale as during an apocalypse, but ask a parent with a terminally ill child if their major concern is the “end of the world.” It isn’t. Jesus will return when he returns, that is in the hands of the Almighty. We are called to take the love and mercy of Jesus into the lives of people who feel as though their personal world is being shaken as terribly as if by an earthquake. They seek stabiity, and are looking for something that is true and unshakable in life. They are NOT looking for people who are staring up into the heavens in great excitement that they will soon be in heaven even though everyone else is left in a world that is falling apart.
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
May 23, 2011 at 3:21 pm
Addiction: Genetic Predisposition
We now possess sufficient evidence that addictive disease has a genetic component. Some who treat addiction are reluctant to embrace this truth in spite of the overwhelming evidence we have to support the claim. I understand their fear. They fear “asserting addiction is a disease” will remove the need to take responsibility, and assuming responsibility is vital to treatment and sobriety. Their concern that until an addict claims responsibility they will not take the difficult steps that lead to sobriety and actions that maintain sobriety. However, acknowledging the genetic component does not absolve the addict from such responsibility. We actually have a greater responsibility not to drink or abuse drugs. People like me, from homes where addiction is a generational plague, should know that to even use drugs is playing with fire. Using drugs for reasons other than legitimate medical conditions, is to play with fire. Even with diagnosed conditions of severe pain require that the doctor and patient establish a “contract of accountability.” Addiction can just happen too quickly and easily; therefor, use of pain or any mood altering substance can never be taken lightly. Genetic predisposition is a red flag, a siren, an inescapable warning that the individual and doctor must assume serious responsibility.
Genetic predisposition does not mean that we are destined, fated to become addicts. Instead it means we know the choices we make determine where we go in life. And, genetic predisposition never removes the abililty to choose. Addiction is not my fate. I can choose my own fate and future by saing “No.” It takes great courage to say no, just as it requires great courage to say “My name is John Doe, and I am an addict, or alcoholic.” Genetic studies have helped us learn it is better to muster the courage to say no when a drug is offered (again, unless a doctor prescribes the medicaiton and monitors his patients well). The catchphrase from the 1980’s campaign against drug use and addiction makes even greater sense in light of the truth that a genetic predisposition does exist in some: Just say no!
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
May 23, 2011 at 10:46 am
Addiction: Genetic Predisposition
We now possess sufficient evidence that addictive disease has a genetic component. Some who treat addiction are reluctant to embrace this truth in spite of the overwhelming evidence we have to support the claim. I understand their fear. They fear “making it a disease” will remove responsibility, and taking responsibility is vital to treatment and sobriety. Their belief that until an addict claims responsibility they will not take the difficult steps that lead to sobriety and maintain that sobriety. However, acknowledging the genetic component does not absolve the addict from such responsibility. We actually have a greater responsibility not to drink or abuse drugs at all. People like me, from homes that where addiction is a generational plague, should know that to abuse drugs is playing with fire. Even using drugs for reasons other than legitimate medical conditions (even then the doctor should hold our feet to fire in accountability when drugs are needed for other physiological conditions), is to play with fire.
Also, genetic predisposition does not mean that we are destined, fated to become addicts. It means we know it is a real possibility should we choose to use. Use for us too easily leads to abuse. This is not my fate. I can choose my own fate and future by saing “No.” It takes great courage to say no, just as it takes courage to say “My name is John Doe, and I am an addict, or alcoholic.” Genetic studies have helped us learn it is better to muster the courage to say no before the disease afflicts us, than it is to stand before a crowd, after leaving a string of victims we have hurt from our abuse behind us, and say I am an addict. With the knowledge we now possess regarding addiction and genetics, the catchphrase makes even greater sense: Just say no!
Dr. D. Craig Rikard
May 23, 2011 at 12:01 am
Faith and Family: Healing Power of Light
We have scientifically proven that light has healing power over depression. Some patients even have “fluorescent tri-boards” on their desk at work or home, sitting in the light for up to thirty minutes or more at the time to fight depression. Of course, going for a walk is better but not always available to some.
If physical light has healing power, than why not spiritual light? Prayer is our greatest receptacle for the reception of spiritual light; but, not the kind of prayer in which we talk, and talk and talk. Prayer involves listening; as a matter of fact it it is mostly listening. Another vital facet of prayer, especially as it relates to light and healing, is meditation.
Meditation involves several dynamics. First, it requires stillness and quiet. I am not just speaking of quiet and “not speaking,” I mean “quieting the mind.” How do we keep all of our mental activity to a minimum? We must find a benign, or helpful object of focus. A candle is perfect. Try lighting a candle and focus on the light. Soon other thoughts are kept at bay. I find it helpful to recite as I focus on the light, “He is the light of the world, light of my heart, light of my body.” Then, I am ready to “spiritually reflect upon the profound truth I am reciting. God IS the light of my life and body. Now I employ the God-given gift of imagination. I imagine my pain or illness as darkness. Next, I imagine the light of God driving the darkness out and away. Most often I imagine myself sitting in a dark room, so dark I am blind. Then, I strike a single match and that one flame overcomes the magnitude of the darkness. I begin to see, and thus can move about.
Illness can constrict us. It can place us in rooms, beds, institutions, etc. It can restrict our movement with medications, forcing us to order our lives around the need for medication at a particular time. Let be clear. The institutions, beds, and medications are NOT THE ENEMY; the enemy is the condition itself. We should never stop using medications the doctor orders for our well-being. If we feel it isn’t working, we should talk with the doctor about changing it, altering the dosage or discontinung it. Suddenly stopping a medication can lead to severe physical problems. God’s healing light involves the use of every gift he has given to us, from medications to professionals, and especially prayer. ALL ARE GIFTS!
Will using prayer as a source of spiritual light bring physical healing on every occasion. Personally
I do not believe so. Can healing physically occur? Absolutely, for I’ve seen it happen too many times. If physical healing does not occur, still the quality of life is improved, and our attitude is better. A good positive attitude helps other treatments work more effectively.
Foremost, prayer during illness is the intentional act of “bringing God into our day.” Of course God is already present, always is. However, when we intentionally pray we are making ourselves aware of this truth. The God of creation, of love and mercy is always with us, and moving everything in creation toward the highest possible good! This is what we mean by HOPE. Hope is trusting that in every moment of life God is not only with us, but is using that moment for eternal good. So if we find ourselves a victim of suffering, pray. The light of God through prayer is that match in the darkest room. It has the power to liberate, overcome, open our eyes, and empower us to “move spiritually (and often physically)” about in the larger world known as the Kingdom of God.
Dr. Denver Craig Rikard
May 17, 2011 at 1:27 pm
Faith and Family: Healing Power of Light
We have scientifically proven that light has healing power over depression. Some patients even have “fluorescent tri-boards” on their desk at work or home, sitting in the light for up to thirty minutes or more at the time to fight depression. Of course, going for a walk is better but not always available to some.
If physical light has healing power, than why not spiritual light? Prayer is our greatest receptacle for the reception of spiritual light; but, not the kind of prayer in which we talk, and talk and talk. Prayer involves listening; as a matter of fact it it is mostly listening. Another vital facet of prayer, especially as it relates to light and healing, is meditation.
Meditation involves several dynamics. First, it requires stillness and quiet. I am not just speaking of quiet and “not speaking,” I mean “quieting the mind.” How do we keep all of our mental activity to a minimum? We must find a benign, or helpful object of focus. A candle is perfect. Try lighting a candle and focus on the light. Soon other thoughts are kept at bay. I find it helpful to recite as I focus on the light, “He is the light of the world, light of my heart, light of my body.” Then, I am ready to “spiritually reflect upon the profound truth I am reciting. God IS the light of my life and body. Now I employ the God-given gift of imagination. I imagine my pain or illness as darkness. Next, I imagine the light of God driving the darkness out and away. Most often I imagine myself sitting in a dark room, so dark I am blind. Then, I strike a single match and that one flame overcomes the magnitude of the darkness. I begin to see, and thus can move about.
Illness can constrict us. It can place us in rooms, beds, institutions, etc. It can restrict our movement with medications, forcing us to order our lives around the need for medication at a particular time. Let be clear. The institutions, beds, and medications are NOT THE ENEMY; the enemy is the condition itself. We should never stop using medications the doctor orders for our well-being. If we feel it isn’t working, we should talk with the doctor about changing it, altering the dosage or discontinung it. Suddenly stopping a medication can lead to severe physical problems. God’s healing light involves the use of every gift he has given to us, from medications to professionals, and especially prayer. ALL ARE GIFTS!
Will using prayer as a source of spiritual light bring physical healing on every occasion. Personally
I do not believe so. Can healing physically occur? Absolutely, for I’ve seen it happen too many times. If physical healing does not occur, still the quality of life is improved, and our attitude is better. A good positive attitude helps other treatments work more effectively.
Foremost, prayer during illness is the intentional act of “bringing God into our day.” Of course God is already present, always is. However, when we intentionally pray we are making ourselves aware of this truth. The God of creation, of love and mercy is always with us, and moving everything in creation toward the highest possible good! This is what we mean by HOPE. Hope is trusting that in every moment of life God is not only with us, but is using that moment for eternal good. So if we find ourselves a victim of suffering, pray. The light of God through prayer is that match in the darkest room. It has the power to liberate, overcome, open our eyes, and empower us to “move spiritually (and often physically)” about in the larger world known as the Kingdom of God.
Dr. Denver Craig Rikard
May 17, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Devotion: Suffering: The Bigger Picture
If there is any one truth I’ve learned through over 30 years of ministry is that there is ALWAYS a bigger picture. We really do place periods at what we think is the end of a story, when it should be a comma. This is both theologically and experientially correct. Almost all of the biblical narratives have men and women of faith formulating conclusions about events only to later discover the event has far more content, ala The Emmaus Rd. Story in Luke 24. Whatever news you’ve heard, remember, the creator of heaven and earth, who knows us by name, is the only one who can place periods.
D. Craig Rikard
May 9, 2011 at 10:43 pm
Marriage and Family: Parenting: Parent, Give Yourself a Break
Most parents believe in free will. As a matter of fact, try telling them their life is “planned in detail” for them and they will vehemently argue with you. We are free, capable of choosing. However, when it comes to our children, especially grown children, we suddenly assume two myths. Myth number one is that our children do NOT have free will. We actually tend to believe that we can control, or plan out in detail their destiny. We even believe we can control their behavior against their will.
Myth number two is that parents believe they can control every aspect of their child’s life. Therefore, when our child chooses a lifestyle, or engages in behavior that displeases us we immediately assume its our fault. How can it be our fault if the child has free will? As parents we do the best we can do. No one is perfect and every parent makes mistake. Granted some parental behavior does have a destructive affect upon the child. However, loving parents who make loving mistakes do not create rebellious, emotionally disconnected children. There are so many other voices in our child’s mind and conscience. We can inflict ourselves with guilt every time they do something with their life of which we disapprove. If we know we did the best possible, have loved them from the beginning without pause, and always had their best in mind, then we have done all in our power.
It is time for many to let go of the guilt. Accept the fact that our children are now adults and for years have been making their own decisions based on their own will. Continue to love them, keep the door open to communicate, and who knows, perhaps one day they will come around. But, if they don’t it will not be your fault. In closing, remember, commit the child to God. Pray for them. Faith is believing God loves all without fail. Hope is the belief that God will use every moment in their life to teach them about meaningful life. Love is the power that keeps us forever connected to them in heart and soul, whether we see them or they choose absence. Act in faith, maintain hope, and always love. God asks nothing more of us than that.
D. Craig Rikard
May 3, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Devotion: Fear
The Disciples actually witnessed the resurrected Christ. We can only imagine the hope and enthusiasm that coursed through their spiritual veins. However, by evening they were locked away in a room, afraid of being arrested. How quickly we forget our previous experiences with the Christ. Old patterns of fearful living creep anew into our day. We must decide by which experiences we are going to live. We can choose to remember the old, painful past, or intentionally call to mind those moments when we witnessed a presence and strength greater than our own. We can remember those times when life was good, really good. We were not created for rooms of fear. The world awaits the gifts and graces with which we have been blessed.
D. Craig Rikard
May 2, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Marriage and family: children: boundaries
Teens will often yell at a parent, “That’s unreasonable!” Sometimes it is little more than an expression of anger, but often there is truth in their accusation. Moral boundaries are first set when the child is young. These boundaries must be clear. That is, they should be well-defined according to the child’s language and vocabulary. Always make sure the child understands what it is we are asking. The boundaries must also be consistent. We cannot set a boundary according to one moral belief and then not set another in the same moral setting. Children become confused when we are upset on one occasion and then look the other way on another occasion. Furthermore, boundaries must remain set, and only moved as the child matures. Allowing a child to push against the boundary and gain ground does not do service to the child’s moral development. The boundary must be observed at all times on all occasions. In the end, children find comfort in that which is predictable. Boundaries bring order, continuity, and reasonableness. Finally, boundaries must be fitting and reasonable. Let us ask ourselves, does this boundary really matter and does it benefit my child’s moral development? Or, did I set this boundary just to make my life easier as a parent? The latter raises confused and often angry children. The former raises children who function well in society and in relationships.
D. Craig Rikard
April 27, 2011 at 5:19 pm
Marriage and family: un-returned loves
It is a myth that love will always redeem and restore relationships in this life. Though it hurts to admit, often we will love and receive little or no love in return. We can pour our lives into our children only to have them later reject us and never seem to respond to pleas. Spouses can simply choose to withhold love in spite of how deeply they are adored by the other. We like to think love is irresistible, yet every day we meet people who have encountered strong and painful resistance.
Love is risky, it always has been. The New Testament teaches just that. The love of Jesus was resisted and rejected. It was so vehemently rejected that it cost Jesus his life. When we choose to love we run the risk of having our heart broken. “Grief is indeed the price of choosing to love.”
Then why love at all? Those years and experiences of love make the risk worth it. To shun love in order to protect the heart is a choice to never open our heart to another. So, we are choosing a great depth of loneliness, calculating it breaks our heart less than when our love is rejected. Maybe, maybe not. But how do we ever meet that person that accepts love and treats it like it is of great value? How do we know our children will not one day turn and long to restore a broken relationship? How do we know a spouse is not somewhere in life for us,s a spouse who will adore us and want only the best for us? We don’t; not with a closed, protected heart.
We have only one reasonable choice. Choose love and take the risk. I would rather know the wonder of being loved, even if it breaks my heart one day, than to know day, months and years of protective solitude. It may not break my heart, but it certainly doesn’t enliven it either.
D. Craig Rikard
April 25, 2011 at 4:57 pm
Not sure who said this first but it is true. “It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” I agree,to love and be loved is worth the risk!
Nedra Scarborough
April 25, 2011 at 5:50 pm
thank you Nedra. This statement has stood the test of time because it is true. God bless!
D. Craig Rikard
April 27, 2011 at 12:01 pm
Devotion: Easter: John’s Gospel
Mary stands weeping, staring at the empty tomb. She feels hopeless and has every reason to feel that way. Jesus is dead. She is there to annoint his dead body and have a last time of “goodbye.” Suddenly she hears her name called from behind her. “Mary,” she hears. She turns and there stands the risen Christ. It should be noted that Jesus stands behind on, calling her to look away from the tomb and toward him, toward life. We are all tempted to stare at the tombs of our losses and feel the heavy weight of regret and guilt. We can stare at the tomb of our lost innocence, of lost love, of lost opportunities, of our self-worth. But Jesus, the living Christ is there. He calls each of us to take our eyes off our sorrow and loss and look toward God. Our life is not in the tomb, it is in the garden, and in the world. Some of us have stood for a long time, staring at our losses and regrets. This Easter is good time to turn away and look for the presence of the living Christ. He is in all expressions of life. Seek opporunities and places of goodness, where live is evident, where one can give of themselves for all the right reasons, where our God-given gifts and grace are called into service. The first disciples did not stay at the tomb. They did not buiild a church or headquarters there. They went forth into the world, following Christ. We are not a “museum people.” We are a living expression of the risen Christ in the world. We become one of those places other look who so desperately need to leave their own losses behind. Amen.
D. Craig Rikard
April 24, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Devotion: Easter: John’s Gospel
Mary stands weeping, staring at the empty tomb. She feels hopeless and has every reason to feel that way. Jesus is dead. She is there to annoint his dead body and have a last time of “goodbye.” Suddenly she hears her name called from behind her. “Mary,” she hears. She turns and there stands the risen Christ. It should be noted that Jesus stands behind on, calling her to look away from the tomb and toward him, toward life. We are all tempted to stare at the tombs of our losses and feel the heavy weight of regret and guilt. We can stare at the tomb of our lost innocence, of lost love, of lost opportunities, of our self-worth. But Jesus, the living Christ is there. He calls each of us to take our eyes off our sorrow and loss and look toward God. Our life is not in the tomb, it is in the garden, and in the world. Some of us have stood for a long time, staring at our losses and regrets. This Easter is good time to turn away and look for the presence of the living Christ. He is in all expressions of life. Seek opporunities and places of goodness, where live is evident, where one can give of themselves for all the right reasons, where our God-given gifts and grace are called into service. The first disciples did not stay at the tomb. They did not buiild a church or headquarters there. They went forth into the world, following Christ. We are not a “museum people.” We are a living expression of the risen Christ in the world. We become one of those places other look who so desperately need to leave their own losses behind.
D. Craig Rikard
April 24, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Devotion ?Maundy Thursday
Tonight many churches will offer services for “Maundy Thurday.” Tonight we remember the “Commandent” or the Maundy. The servie is liturgically centered upon and built around Jesus statment “A new commandment I give unto you, that you love one another, as I have loved you. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples.”
Tonight we are called to remember the motivating power that led Jesus to accept a horrible expression of suffering and death. Prior to his death Jesus met with his disciples for the last Passover meal. The mood certainly would have been rather somber, and tender in spite of Judaa” betrayal. Jesus knows they scatter like sheep as he dies, and it grieves him. He knows they will need one another to remain together and endure the coming hours. The only power that car drive them toward one another is the deepest experience of loss. The power they need to arise and keep moving toward God and what God has in store for them is the same power that empowers Jesus: love. Loss and love are wed in the Maundy.
Jesus is not asking for just any expression of love. This love transcends eros and phileo. Jesus asked that they love one another “as I have loved you.” This love, agape, involves “choice.” It doesn’t wait until we feel an action is right, we act because it is the right thing to do. We choose to act loving toward another.
How? Naturally, we are in great need of the help of God. However, we ask ourselves the simple question, “What would Jesus do?” I know, our culture has transformed this legitimate quesiton into a nice, marketable saying. However, to go to our knees in prayer with the intent of asking this question, allows us gain perspective, God’s perspective. Often what we think of as a sufficient act of love is really an action that cost us very little. Often, we can do more. We could have stayed longer, visited more oftencalled more regularly, etc. In Jesus’ love there is always sacrifice. He will do anything that is righteous for the sake of another. On the cross we see just how far he is wiling to go “so all will know” God loves them.
Such love requires more prayer and moral courage than I usually employ. Yes, loving another as Jesus loved requires more of us than we are often willing to give. But Christ would not command that we do it if it was impossible. I pray your Maundy Thursday will lead you to your knees as I go to mine. Let us pray for God to open our eyes to those in need, and define “need” through God’s eyes.
D. Craig Rikard
April 21, 2011 at 1:08 pm
Devotion: Holy Week: “He Breathed His Last” (Lk.)
Many of us think of Christianity as a faith that “gives us something.” We receive eternal life, the joy of the Spirit, membership in the Kingdom of God, etc. Certainly, the Christian faith offers us all of that and more. However, the emphasis of Jesus was not on what we received through Christ but rather on our new-found ability to let go of those things which hindered our being a loving, godly .person. It is interesting that spirituality from Genesis into the book of Acts is presented to us in the metaphor of breathing. In Genesis we become “living souls” when God breathes into us the breath of life. Spirituality is “taking in” the life of God, and “giving it back to him in loving devotion.”
Sin, therefore, is to withhold that obedience, to ignore God’s call to follow him. In more modern terms, sin is selfishness. Now we can understand why Genesis warns that the day we eat of the forbidden fruit “we shall surely die.” We received the breath of life and kept it to ourselves, for our purposes.
Luke’s narrative of Jesus’ death reads, “He raised up and breathed his last.” We place our faith and trust in Christ, and allow him to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves: give ourselves totally away. Jesus gave everything, his very life. Paul wrote in Philippians that Jesus “emptied himself.” When we place our faith in Jesus we surrender ourselves, desiring to live more fully and selflessly. In turn we are empowered to do just that. In closing, as we left the book of Genesis we were full of ourselves, spiritually dead to who and what we could be. In Luke Jesus gave his last breath to save us from ourselves. When we believe that, and trust him, we are at last able to participate in “the great exhale.” We are empowered to let go and receive the gift of new life. We are now on our spiritual journey again. Filled with God’s Spirit and a passion to give ourselves fully to the Lord, we are moving toward what Paul expressed as the “high calling of God in Christ.”
D. Craig Rikard
April 19, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Devotion: Holy Week : Triumphant Entry: “Look the whole world has gone out to him!”
The religious hierarchy’s disdain for Jesus had reached its pinnacle. He had to die or the entire power structure that gave their life meaning was going to fall as the walls of Jericho. Power corrupts us all and they were no different. We can only imagine how their rage was stoked as they watched the masses of people flock to Jesus as he rode into the city. “Look! The whole world has gone out to him!” Few frailties can embolden and empower our anger like jealousy. Pride, hatred, and jealousy now converged into a powerful determination to kill Jesus. Their observation that the world had gone out to Jesus was both right, and wrong. From where they stood it appeared that Jesus had a plan to bring the world to him, his teaching, his understanding of the Kingdom of God. In reality, Jesus had given himself to the world. He placed his truth, his heart, his very life into the hands of the entire world so they would awaken to the reality that God loved them to the nth degree. If only they had opened their hearts to this one, all-important truth. They would have joyfully given everything for a life far richer in purpose and meaning than they had previously experienced. As a matter of fact, isn’t that true for all of us?
D. Craig Rikard
April 17, 2011 at 7:36 pm
Marriage and family: romance: getting out of the house.
Early in pastoral ministry I learned the value of sponsoring leadership retreats “away from the church building.” Though we can cover the same material within the confines of our own building, new surroundings create more effective results. Notice I used the phrase “within the confines of our own building” in the previous sentence. I did so intentionally. Exposing ourselves to the same surroundings tends to “confine our minds.” New surroundings help us think outside the box, or, look at the material from a slightly different perspective. We call these events “retreats.” Why? From what are we retreating? We are trying to escape thinking, feeling, and dreaming in the same patterns for they usually lead us to similar results.
Couples need to get out of the house! We need “date-nights” or weekends away, WITHOUT the children. Each of us goes to work, encounter people in the course of the day, and have experiences that slightly alter our existence. Carl Jung, a deceased great scholar in the field of human behavior and human experience, said two people cannot interact without both being changed. What does that mean for married couples? We come home each day from work or other responsibilities slightly different people. We need to stay in touch, to know what the other is experiencing is paramount for a healthy fulfilling marriage. It is difficult to engage in meaningful dialogue, to fully express what we are feeling while trying to meet the daily demands of parenting. Have a baby sitter you can trust, make sure you are taking no “baggage from home” with you ( anything that requires you to call home, check on this or that) and go away together. Find a relaxing destination and talk, listen, play and love. We will discover that as we move through the years together marriage grows sweeter. Our children are healthy in that they know Mom and Dad are happy together, and the marriage is healthy for the two can know each other better with every passing day.
D. Craig Rikard
April 17, 2011 at 1:26 pm
marriage and family:conflict: dinner talbe
The dinner table is the place where many families discuss the events of the day. Each shares what happened in their life. This is a postitive activity. It keeps the family in touch with one another and kkeeps the members from emotionally drifting apart. HOWEVER, never use the dining table as a place of conflict. Sopme families wait until dinner to confront, accuse and express anger. Stress has a direct affect upon the digestive process. Digestive and eating disorders can begin or become more intensified at chaotic dinner tables. A connection of dining and anger is never healthy. Do all in your power to make dining a nice, peaceful, happy experience for the family. Anger and stressful issues can be discussed at a more appropriate, healthier time.
D. Craig Rikard
April 13, 2011 at 11:25 am
Devotion: Lent: Following Jesus
The narrative of the crucifixion states that as Jesus was led to Golgotha, Peter followed “from afar.” He could not yet bring himself to leave, but his fear and shame would not allow him to draw near. Thus, he found his “middle ground” which to him was safe. However, from the middle ground he was too far away to offer Jesus any moral support and comfort, and, from there he could do nothing to remove the haunting guilt he felt from his denying Jesus. If he moved close to Jesus on the cross he would have let Jesus know he was there for him, no matter what the cost. From the cross he would proclaim his faithfulness to the Kingdom of God and his belief that Jesus was the Christ, again possibly at great cost. Jesus taught it is only in the “expenditure of the self” does a man or woman find their life. Only when we look the fear of doing the right thing in the eye and walk forward do we discover our sense of destny and purpose in life. Too many of us have been standing afar in our faith. We are comfortable, though we struggle to feel true self-worth. Yet, the thought of fully giving ourselves to Christ appears to cost too much. At the end of life we will have lived without fully living, we will have known comfort but not the challenge of a meaningful life. We were not created for the middle ground. Our place is as near to Jesus as we can draw.
D. Craig Rikard
April 11, 2011 at 1:14 pm
Marriage and Family: Children: Devotion
A few weeks a year parents and grandparents take their children on vacation. Usually it is a place with spectacular visual attractions. We find ourselves repeatedly saying to them, “Look at that! Did you see that? Don’t miss that!” We do so for good reasons. Some moments and events in life are too special and spectacular to miss. Yet, for the other 50 or so weeks a year it is our children and grandchildren who have to say to us, “Look Mom! Look Dad!” They see the special and spectacular in the daily routines of life. Blessed is the man and woman who listens to children, for they see the world with eyes of wonder and curiosity many of us have long lost.
D. Craig Rikard
April 9, 2011 at 1:40 pm
Marriage and Family: time
With some clients complaining about their level of stress and there not being enough hours in the day, I oftren use a very simple technique. I encourage all of us to use it; I do. Create a T graph and label one side “those things I cannot change” and on the other “those things I can change.” Then make a list of everything in which you are involved and place it on the side it belongs. It has to go on one or the other. Rarely is there middle ground. You will be surprised to realize that most of your time is invested in the unchangeable. This leaves very little time and energy for those areas where we can invoke change and make a difference. We are not an endless reservoir of energy. God created us with the gift of limits. When we appreciate and honor those limits we rest more and do not beat our heads against brick walls trying to change the unchangeable. I promise you more productive change could be accomplished if we just asked the simple question, “Is it changeable?” What do we do about the unchangeable. We do what Scripture asks us to do: we leave it in the hands of a loving God who is working all things toward a grand and eternal purpose.
D. Craig Rikard
April 6, 2011 at 10:07 pm
Marriage and Family: Time: procrastination
Procrastination is really nothing more than a haughty abuse of time. We put things off because we are “confident” that tomorrow will come. We almost act as though we are “owed” the future. There should be enough pain and loss of life in the early years to awaken us to the fact that today is all I have with certainty. Beyond that? Only God knows. However, the major concern is that there are things that need to be said, done, and NOW! Beware of speaking such phrases as “one day I will . . ” or “When the tinme is right I will . . . ” One day? The right time? It is God who owns the day and is Lord over time. Our task is to live this day as fully, and as honestly as possible. Love doesn’t abuse anything, and that includes time. Love does not put off what needs to be done! If anything, it is “ego-centric love” which cause us concern. For I am using time to my convenience, ease, and comfort. Love liberates. Therefore, love frees us speak and act now even if it is not easy. It is far better to deal with the discomfort and do what needs to be done, than it is one day to think, “I wish I had of . . ” or to pass into eternity with unfinished business.
D. Craig Rikard
April 5, 2011 at 12:04 am
Devotion: Lent: Denial
Simon Peter, sadly, is as well known for denying Jesus as he is for being a solid leader of the early church. However, the Peter’s struggle with denial began long before Jesus’ trial. Before Peter denied Jesus, he had denied the truth about his true humanity. Peter was notorious for making promised he cold not keep. It must have been unthinkable for him to say, “I can’t.” Yet, in reality we all are mere frail humans who daily depend on a higher power than ourselves. The day we begin to make statements like, “I can take care of myself. I can handle it. I do not need anyone’s help,” we are in trouble. We set ourselves up for failure, and for future denials that will leave us feeling ashamed. God has never asked us to be super-people. We are asked to honest and truthful. The one who admits their weakenesses is the one who finds the true source of their strength.
D. Craig Rikard
April 4, 2011 at 12:36 pm
Often I have to type on a SMALL keyboard and it misses words and spellings. In the above, only 1% of pain patients who used Morphine and then were able to find healing, get addicted. The other 99% cn detox it from their system and never crave it. Those who do not have pain, sever pain should avoid pain meds at all cost. Use anything else that works, that is healthy.
D. Craig Rikard
March 31, 2011 at 11:04 am
Marriage and family:addiction: chronic pain
Often real authentic pain gets lost in discussion of addiction. There are people who experience severe pain that NEVER disappears. I know, I have been one for 13 years, each year experiencing greater pain than the previous. Such pain can make you suicidal. Gail had to talk me into visiting a pain specialist because I began using “suicidal language.” From my background, it was unthinkable to visit a pain specialist. But , it was just as unthinkable to lose the will to live because the level of pain was so severe. With a good doctor I learned the key to controlling pain and avoiding addiction. I want to share with you the keys I share with other legitimate pain patients in counseling.
First, we should have a legitiamte pain and have exhausted every means of healing. For me that was six surgeries on my spine. I was left in as much pain as before the surgery. So I had a legitimate case.
Secondly, I visited the doctor with tremendous fear of medications. A chronic pain patient should always fear pain medications. The moment you think you can control taking the medications without help and strict rules you are in trouble. A chronic pain patient has to begin treatment with a terror of what the medications can do and never lose that fear.
Thirdly, chose a doctor who shares that fear. A good pain doctor will have a contract you have to sign. If you break one of the rules you are booted from the program. My doctor will not allow me to visit any other pain doctor. Even when out of town I have to call him on the phone first. I can use only one pharmacy. I am to establish an honest relationship with that doctor and never violate it. Any violation gets me booted from the program. The contract can ask me to take a urnie test at any time. My refusal or failure gets me booted. I can be called in at any time and have every tablet counted. If I take more than what is prescribed, again, I get booted. If the pain specialist does not have such a strict contract, leave and find one that does.
Fourth, the patient should create, on their own, their own suportive netowrk and safety fences. For example, my wife knows the names of the meds I take, what they are for, and how many are prescribed. They are given permission to count the tablets at their choosing to ensure there is no abuse. You have an agreement that should you abuse the meds, they are expected to report it to the doctor. My children are older But they too know of my meds, what is presecribed and when I am taking it properly. I have a relationshp with my pharmacist and stay accountable to him The more fences you build around yourself for protenction and accountability, the less chance of becoming addicted.
Fifth, everyone in my circle of accountablity has permission to monitor my behavior. If there is
a noticeable change they are required to immediately do med checks and ensure I am not abusing.
sound like a lot of people in my business? There are, and thank God for them. I do not trust my power, even my faith to battle the tremendous power of meds that can make me feel euphoric. I refuse to work with any chronic pain patient seeking pastoral counsel if the controls are not in place.
In closing, how can you tell the difference in anaddict and a genuine chronic pain patient? The addict is always seeking to avoid life; the chronic pain patient wants to live as normal and quality life as possible. Addicts live and lie to get the medications. Chronic pain patients would do anything NOT to have to take medications. That is their dream. They do not like having to live their life around having enough medication if you are going on vacation, or out of town, or visiting the doctor each month because you should never have more than one month medication at one time.
Stats have proven that only 1% of chronic pain patients taking morphine do NOT get addicted if the pain is cured. They detox, get it out of their system, but never crave the medication because they have never had the “high” or euphoria. In other words, genuine pain patients, if they can find an alternative treatment that works will lay the medication down and not crave it. For they did not live to get the medication to live a quality of life; they got it to numb themselves from life. The addict will always abuse the prescription; whereas the real pain patient uses it Only as prescribed.
Yes, there are legitimate people who live in such pain they have no quality of life and begin to think their family is better off without them. They are candidates for treatment by a good pain specialist who has contracts and checks and balances in place. They will involve their entire family in their treatment. We should never lump chronic pain patients with addicts who use an illness to get a high. Again, how do you know the difference? The addict always abuses the prescription. They will play the games of addicts like telling the doctor “I lost my prescription, or I spilled them down the sink by accidnt.” Some try to secretly use another doctor or two to get as much of hte medicaiton as possible. The will also use different pharmacies to keep the main pharmacist in dark. Though usually they get caught, still in their warped addicted perception they do not realize how transparent their habit is.
Be compassionate for people in real pain that will probably never improve. Do not lump them in with the addict. However, that patient has the responsibility to have a good doctor, and a great supportive system in the family.
D. Craig Rikard
March 30, 2011 at 11:28 pm
Marriage and family: addiction: chronic pain
Often real authentic pain gets lost in discussion of addiction. There are people who experience severe pain that NEVER disappears. I know, I have been one for 13 years, each year experiencing greater pain than the previous. Such pain can make you suicidal. Gail had to talk me into visiting a pain specialist because I began using “suicidal language.” From my background, it was unthinkable to visit a pain specialist. But , it was just as unthinkable to lose the will to live because the level of pain was so severe. With a good doctor I learned the key to controlling pain and avoiding addiction. I want to share with you the keys I share with other legitimate pain patients in counseling.
First, we should have a legitiamte pain and have exhausted every means of healing. For me that was six surgeries on my spine. I was left in as much pain as before the surgery. So I had a legitimate case.
Secondly, I visited the doctor with tremendous fear of medications. A chronic pain patient should always fear pain medications. The moment you think you can control taking the medications without help and strict rules you are in trouble. A chronic pain patient has to begin treatment with a terror of what the medications can do and never lose that fear.
Thirdly, chose a doctor who shares that fear. A good pain doctor will have a contract you have to sign. If you break one of the rules you are booted from the program. My doctor will not allow me to visit any other pain doctor. Even when out of town I have to call him on the phone first. I can use only one pharmacy. I am to establish an honest relationship with that doctor and never violate it. Any violation gets me booted from the program. The contract can ask me to take a urnie test at any time. My refusal or failure gets me booted. I can be called in at any time and have every tablet counted. If I take more than what is prescribed, again, I get booted. If the pain specialist does not have such a strict contract, leave and find one that does.
Fourth, the patient should create, on their own, their own suportive netowrk and safety fences. For example, my wife knows the names of the meds I take, what they are for, and how many are prescribed. They are given permission to count the tablets at their choosing to ensure there is no abuse. You have an agreement that should you abuse the meds, they are expected to report it to the doctor. My children are older But they too know of my meds, what is presecribed and when I am taking it properly. I have a relationshp with my pharmacist and stay accountable to him The more fences you build around yourself for protenction and accountability, the less chance of becoming addicted.
Fifth, everyone in my circle of accountablity has permission to monitor my behavior. If there is
a noticeable change they are required to immediately do med checks and ensure I am not abusing.
sound like a lot of people in my business? There are, and thank God for them. I do not trust my power, even my faith to battle the tremendous power of meds that can make me feel euphoric. I refuse to work with any chronic pain patient seeking pastoral counsel if the controls are not in place.
In closing, how can you tell the difference in anaddict and a genuine chronic pain patient? The addict is always seeking to avoid life; the chronic pain patient wants to live as normal and quality life as possible. Addicts live and lie to get the medications. Chronic pain patients would do anything NOT to have to take medications. That is their dream. They do not like having to live their life around having enough medication if you are going on vacation, or out of town, or visiting the doctor each month because you should never have more than one month medication at one time.
Stats have proven that only 1% of chronic pain patients taking morphine do NOT get addicted if the pain is cured. They detox, get it out of their system, but never crave the medication because they have never had the “high” or euphoria. In other words, genuine pain patients, if they can find an alternative treatment that works will lay the medication down and not crave it. For they did not live to get the medication to live a quality of life; they got it to numb themselves from life. The addict will always abuse the prescription; whereas the real pain patient uses it Only as prescribed.
Yes, there are legitimate people who live in such pain they have no quality of life and begin to think their family is better off without them. They are candidates for treatment by a good pain specialist who has contracts and checks and balances in place. They will involve their entire family in their treatment. We should never lump chronic pain patients with addicts who use an illness to get a high. Again, how do you know the difference? The addict always abuses the prescription. They will play the games of addicts like telling the doctor “I lost my prescription, or I spilled them down the sink by accidnt.” Some try to secretly use another doctor or two to get as much of hte medicaiton as possible. The will also use different pharmacies to keep the main pharmacist in dark. Though usually they get caught, still in their warped addicted perception they do not realize how transparent their habit is.
Be compassionate for people in real pain that will probably never improve. Do not lump them in with the addict. However, that patient has the responsibility to have a good doctor, and a great supportive system in the family.
D. Craig Rikard
March 30, 2011 at 11:24 pm
Marriage and family: addiction: chronic pain
Often real authentic pain gets lost in discussion of addiction. There are people who experience sever pain that NEVER disappears. I know, I have been one for 13 years, each year experiencing greater pain than the previous. Such pain can make you suicidal. Gail had to talk me into visiting a pain specialist because I began using “suicidal language.” From my background, it was unthinkable to visit a pain specialist. But , it was just as unthinkable to lose the will to live because the level of pain was so severe. With a good doctor I learned the kesy to controlling pain and avoiding addiction. I want to share with you the keys I share with other legitimate pain patients in counseling.
First, we should have a legitiamte pain and have exhausted every means of healing. For me that was six surgeries on my spine. I was left in as much pain as before the surgery. So I had a legitimate case.
Secondly, I visited the doctor with tremendous fear of medications. A chronic pain patient should always fear pain medications. The moment you think you can control taking the medications without help and strict rules you are in trouble. A chronic pain patient has to begin treatment with a terror of what the medications can do and never lose that fear.
Thirdly, chose a doctor who shares that fear. A good pain doctor will have a contract you have to sign. If you break one of the rules you are booted from the program. My doctor will not allow me to visit any other pain doctor. Even when out of town I have to call him on the phone first. I can use only one pharmacy. I am to establish an honest relationship with that doctor and never violate it. Any violation gets me booted from the program. The contract can ask me to take a urnie test at any time. My refusal or failure gets me booted. I can be called in at any time and have every tablet counted. If I take more than what is prescribed, again, I get booted. If the pain specialist does not have such a strict contract, leave and find one that does.
Fourth, the patient should create, on their own, their own suportive netowrk and safety fences. For example, my wife knows the names of the meds I take, what they are for, and how many are prescribed. They are given permission to count the tablets at their choosing to ensure there is no abuse. You have an agreement that should you abuse the meds, they are expected to report it to the doctor. My children are older But they too know of my meds, what is presecribed and when I am taking it properly. I have a relationshp with my pharmacist and stay accountable to him The more fences you build around yourself for protenction and accountability, the less chance of becoming addicted.
Fifth, everyone in my circle of accountablity has permission to monitor my behavior. If there is
a noticeable change they are required to immediately do med checks and ensure I am not abusing.
sound like a lot of people in my business? There are, and thank God for them. I do not trust my power, even my faith to battle the tremendous power of meds that can make me feel euphoric. I refuse to work with any chronic pain patient seeking pastoral counsel if the controls are not in place.
In closing, how can you tell the difference in anaddict and a genuine chronic pain patient? The addict is always seeking to avoid life; the chronic pain patient wants to live as normal and quality life as possible. Addicts live and lie to get the medications. Chronic pain patients would do anything NOT to have to take medications. That is their dream. They do not like having to live their life around having enough medication if you are going on vacation, or out of town, or visiting the doctor each month because you should never have more than one month medication at one time.
Stats have proven that only 1% of chronic pain patients taking morphine do NOT get addicted if the pain is cured. They detox, get it out of their system, but never crave the medication because they have never had the “high” or euphoria. In other words, genuine pain patients, if they can find an alternative treatment that works will lay the medication down and not crave it. For they did not live to get the medication to live a quality of life; they got it to numb themselves from life. The addict will always abuse the prescription; whereas the real pain patient uses it Only as prescribed.
Yes, there are legitimate people who live in such pain they have no quality of life and begin to think their family is better off without them. They are candidates for treatment by a good pain specialist who has contracts and checks and balances in place. They will involve their entire family in their treatment. We should never lump chronic pain patients with addicts who use an illness to get a high. Again, how do you know the difference? The addict always abuses the prescription. They will play the games of addicts like telling the doctor “I lost my prescription, or I spilled them down the sink by accidnt.” Some try to secretly use another doctor or two to get as much of hte medicaiton as possible. The will also use different pharmacies to keep the main pharmacist in dark. Though usually they get caught, still in their warped addicted perception they do not realize how transparent their habit is.
Be compassionate for people in real pain that will probably never improve. Do not lump them in with the addict. However, that patient has the responsibility to have a good doctor, and a great supportive system in the family.
D. Craig Rikard
March 30, 2011 at 11:14 pm
Devotion: Lent: Pilate
When Pilate heard Jesus of Nazareth was under arrest by the Sanhedrin, and waiting outside for him his heart must have sank. His relationship with Caesar was already tense, and Caesar had informed him if he couldn’t do the job he could be replaced. The last thing Pilate needed was controvery. And now, there was Jesus. If Pilate had his way he would have immediately let him go except the Sanhedrin was emphatic. They wanted him dead for treason against Caesar and only a Roman official could order Jesus’ death. Pilate attempts to make Jesus someone else’s responsibility. He hears he Jesus lived in the area of Galilee and therefore sees an out. “Herod is governor over Galilee, let’s send him to Herod.” Herod takes Jesus, mocks him for a while and sends him back to Pilate. It didn’t work. Now Pilate believes if he beats Jesus the Sanhedrin and the crowd will perhaps be satisfied, after all Jesus isn’t a criminal. After a severe beating Pilate brings out the tortured, beaten Jesus, stands him before the crowd, points to him and says to the crowd, “Behod the man!” “Look at him! Look at what I did to hinm! Isn’t it enough?” He was shocked at the answer “No!” He then looks to the Jewish custom of giving the people the choice of having one prisoner released at Passover. It was Jesus or Barabas, a petty common theif. Certainly they will choose Jesus over Barnabas. But the Sanhedrin has been working the mob and they, in a frenzy cry for Barabas to be released. “What shall I do with Jesus?” Pilate is asking. “Crucify him!” they repeat, a frenzied mob. It was the last thing Pilate wanted to hear. When it is obvious Pilate is out of options and must take Jesus life he does one thing he hopes will ease his conscience: he washed his hands in a basin of water. Like Shakespear’s Lady McBeth Pilate is attempting to wash the “blood from his hands.” But as Lady McBeth will later learned, it doesn’t work. Pilate’s story speaks powerfully to us. How often has Jesus stood before us, demanding a decision as to what we will do with him. When has he stood there? Remember Jesus said, “When you see the naked, the hungry, the poor, the prisoner, the suffering, I am there. How often has Jesus stood before us as someone in need and we did all we could do to ignore or pass the buck. But we can’t get rid of Jesus when he wants our love and obedience. We must courageously ignore the pressure of the crowd and do the right thing. Only then will our hands feel clean and our hearts pure. Jesus isn’t going away; neither should our courage and decision to obey the moral voice in our hearts.
D. Craig Rikard
March 30, 2011 at 10:34 pm
Culture: Faith and Film: M. Night Shyamalan’s “Devil”
Critics are justified in describing Guatemalan’s films as erratic. He offers us great films liker the “Sixth Sense” that sear themselves into our understanding of human existence. His movies like “The Village” and “Signs” are good, thought-provoking Then he offers the mediocre film like “The Happening.” and “the Unbreakable.” These are interesting, but easily forgotten. Sadly, he has his films that feel shallow and disconnected from what people are currently feeling. In other words, these films do not seem to matter in relation to the great human questions “Who are we?” and “Where are we going.” When I consider this type of critique I think of “The Last Airbender” and “Lady in the Water.”
Though some critics have written scathing reviews of “Devil,” I believe it is worth our time to see it. Whether or not Shyamalan intended to employ the great religious themes that serve as a powerful thread running through the major religions of our day is his question to answer, but students of theology and religion see them, and they are indeed powerful. A sampling of those themes is: Our moral choices will one day have us standing in uncomfortable places, involved in strained relationships, with the possible outcome being the devil, the personification of evil, establishes his claim upon our soul. However, the power of the religious acts of forgiveness and mercy are presented as having the ability to overpower the devil. This film flows as though Shyamalan read and used the Gospel of John to help provide the moral tension needed in the movie. The opening credits are read over the image of an upside down world. Shyamalan seems to reveal from the beginning his belief that reality is turned on its head through the moral choices of the human creature. The “world” to John is a “tainted” existence, ruled by Satan, and from which we need rescuing. The themes utilized by John such as “light and darkness,” the “constricting power” of evil to place us in an existence that so stifles our God-given gifts and graces it is suffocating. The evil acts are performed in the darkness, and exposed in the light. The consequence related to the necessary and beautiful gift of human relationships is to find ourselves driven apart, divided by our paranoia. Each begins looking out for themselves, even if it means the death of another. Like the Gospel of John, Shyamalan reminds us in this film that we are easy prey for the devil when we engage in moral choices that are ego-centric and destructive. The movie ends on a note of hope. Like a majestic fireworks display after a dreary rain we waited over an hour to move on out, The beauty and awe-inspiring power of God’s light, expressed through loving forgiveness and mercy allow us to exit the movie with some degree of hope. We need both dynamics Shyamalan offers to enrich our existence. We need to feel the darkness we create for ourselves and others. We need to remember what it is like to feel so guilty we want to isolate ourselves from others, and place our gifts and graces on a shelf because we feel unworthy to use them. But it equally important to turn the movie off AFTER witnessing the power of spiritual light to drive the darkness back and away. Spiritual light is present in the film, as in John’s Gospel, through truth, love, justice and mercy. It is quite fitting, and a pleasant surprise that as the final credits roll the world is now “right-side-up.” All appears well, as though a great, benevolent deity controls and sustains it. This film is too violent for children, and the language must be ignored. But the film itself should not be ignored. It is worth our time to see it, especially with spiritual eyes that look for the conflict of darkness and light that drives this film.
D. Craig Rikard
March 26, 2011 at 1:18 am
Marriage and Family: Communication: The Real Issue
When I work with couples on their communication skills I employ the phrase “Red Flag Moments.” These are those moments in a marriage when the intensity of emotion doesn’t fit the incident. For example, if a wife spills her glass of water at the table and the husband throws his plate against the wall in response he is having a red flag moment. His response is over the top, far too intense, out of sync with more customary responses. In such moments the issue isn’t the one on the surface. This husband’s emotion is not being spewed with such severity over the spilling of the water. It is about something else, something deeper that has never been addressed and reconciled. The spilled water simply serves as a convenient moment to vent the emotion that has been building since the last eruption. All of us, without exception, have our red flag moments and red flag issues. Some issues are of greater concern than others in that they possess tremendous destructive power. Couples must learn to recognize these moments and with the help of God address them. How do we recognize them? First, again, the severity and intensity of the expressed emotion is over the top; it just doesn’t fit the occasion. Secondly, it is a repetitive pattern. If I repeatedly have outbursts over what most would consider trivial issues then I should recognize that there is something out of sync with me, within me. Third, they are destructive in that they are never reconciled. The outburst is just that, an eruption of emotion that goes nowhere. It strikes, wounds, breaks hearts, and then quietly settles back into the depths of the soul until we just can’t stand it anymore. Once recognized, the couple needs to allow for a time of stillness. Let the emotion settle before addressing it. Deal with it when both have control over their emotions. This avoids saying things that hurt and making the issue more destructive. Through loving communication, communicating with purpose, the “real issue” can often surface. The “other spouse” must be open to their role in the experience. They may unwillingly behave in a manner that ignites the issue in the other. Both are always involved in the pain and the healing If we cannot discover the real source of the pain, and we find out attempts to deal with the issue only becomes more destructive, then we should seek the help of a counselor. The stigma of seeing a counselor has kept many couples from experiencing the fullness of love and joy possible for them. Issues remain unattended and other destructive issues are added to the mix. The result is a lot of pain and intermingled issues. It becomes almost impossible to discover what is really going on. We do not even know where to start when this happens. Red flag moments should be addressed immediately, once the emotion is allowed to settle down. This is the “ripe opportunity” to discover the real culprit causing the pain. If we wait too long, we will move on and leave the issue unaddressed. Emotion will build again and erupt over an issue that leaves us amazed. “I can’t believe you got that angry over that!” A vicious cycle is birthed and joy is sapped from the relationship.
D. Craig Rikard
March 25, 2011 at 12:40 pm
Devotion: Lent: Gethsemane: Suffering and Hope
When Jesus is arrested in the garden it was certainly a decision with far-reaching ramifications, among them ar theological ramifications. Prior to the crucifixion the Jewish people struggled with the issue of suffering. The perception of the religious hierarchy in Jesus’ day was very “black and white,” allowing little room for the gray or for questions. If a person suffered it the certain consequence of their violation of covenant as expressed in the Mosaic Law; or, it was the result of their parent’s failure to be faithful to covenant. In other words, if the covenant was perfectly kept you and your family prospered. Health and wealth were the reward. Since most of the people struggled economically they were perceived as “sinners;” the same belief was applied to the sick. Perhaps too simply stated, the belief was: Keep covenant and all will be well, break it and suffering is certain. Therefore, the very thought of God suffering was unthinkable. Furthermore, the belief that God could use suffering for redemptive purposes was equally unacceptable. Notice the disciples refusal to accept Jesus’ statements about his own death. Peter had no difficulty saying to Jesus, “Thou art the Christ.” However, when Jesus immediately refereed to his death on the cross Peter could not accept it. Jesus answered with a stern response, “Get thee behind me Satan.” Peter’s response to the thought of Jesus suffering was not just his belief; he was expressing what all 12 believed. The thought of Jesus dying was so unthinkable to Judas he chose to “get what he could” from following Jesus. They believed the Messiah would be a charismatic military leader, strong, with no vulnerabilities. A messiah hanging on a cross was inconceivable. Thus, the death of Jesus on the cross revealed a powerful truth that would offer Christians the gift of “hope.” Jesus’ crucifixion revealed to those who struggled and suffered in life that God had not forsaken them, nor had he withheld his love and mercy. They also heard the message through Jesus’ death that God could actually use suffering for the good of the world. On the cross God was drawing the world unto himself, saving them, and empowering them with joy. The message of Jesus’ suffering propelled early Christians forward when life was painful and terrifying. They now believed God was with them, and was doing something, perhaps unseen, that would change the world for good. Yes, their suffering was being used for a cause greater than themselves. Meaning, purpose, and hope filled hearts that previously would have been afflicted with utter distress. To suffer, and have nothing good come from it, is about as empty as one can feel. Now we know why Paul said (paraphrased) “You can put me in prison, allow me to experience shipwreck, and even take my life. I am God’s and through Christ in me he is using my circumstances to redeem the world.” Thus, Paul’s statement in Romans takes on tremendous power and tender purpose, “ If we are presently walking through a personal “valley of the shadow of death,” or are looking the end of our life directly in the eye, we can look to the gift of hope that sings in our heart. What is inside us, and the truth guides us cannot be destroyed!
D. Craig Rikard
March 24, 2011 at 7:30 pm
Marriage and Family: Communication: Intuition
Just how strong is human intuition? Malcolm Gladwell in his book ” Blink” proved that over 80% of the time our “first impression” of someone, or our initial feelings about a certain situation will be correct. In our earliest years of childhood we are guided primarily by our intuition. A child can accurately sense fear, uneasiness, anger, etc. in a parent. They can feel the subtle changes in mood, positive and negative. Drug addiction creates an alteration of mood. This is the major reason those who abuse drugs take them. No, let me stand corrected: IT IS THE REASON. The parent accepts the myth that the younger the child, the less awareness they possess and the more insulated they are from destructive behaviors, words and actions. To some degree this is true, but this “time of insulation” is very short. We know that babies can feel our tension just from the touch of skin upon skin. This is why a parent holding a baby who will not stop crying, when there seems to be no reason for the crying, can place the child in the arms of another with the child suddenly growing quieter and calmer. In my clinical training in the role of chaplain I personally witnessed just how aware a baby is of another’s emotions and its affect upon the child. John K. was admitted to my floor in critical condition. John, six months old, had stopped eating. Even forcing nutrients into John did not help. I noticed John was always alone, except for the nurses and me. I asked the head nurse about the parents. She answered, “They are the reason he is here and dying.” I was stunned. John showed no visible signs of physical abuse. “What do you mean by that?” I asked the nurse. “It is true they never physically harmed him in terms of striking him. But they never held him. I mean NEVER! Children who are not held are being denied the only expression of love and comfort they can receive. Children receive messages from touch long before receiving verbal messages. John’s world was silent, and the silence is killing him. Children who do not feel love and safety will stop eating.” Her response shocked and upset me. “How do you treat him? How can you save him?” I asked, almost as though I was begging for an answer. I had visited John every day for two weeks as and had formed a bond with him. “We take shifts of just holding him as lovingly as possible.” From that moment I received permission to hold John and rock him. I took one of the shifts. The devotion of those nurses saved John. It is even more accurate to say love saved him. He eventually went to a placement by the state. Before he left, I asked for a moment alone for prayer. But the nurses wanted to participate in the prayer. We made a circle around his bed and I prayed. We then picked him up and passed him from nurse to nurse until John was back in my arms. We all wept. We sent John into the world praying that he would never feel unloved again. Children not only hear us. They FEEL us and draw life from us. Anything that hinders that process is hindering the movement of love and life in the child’s world. There is no such thing (poor English but a Southerner’s way of being emphatic ) as “recreational drug use” when the use alters the mood and becomes an unsettling force in the life of the family; especially, when little children live in that house. What goes on in that house is what goes on in their life.
D. Craig Rikard
March 23, 2011 at 5:27 pm
Devotion: Gethsemane: Why Am I Here?
As Judas approaches Jesus in the garden Jesus asks an important and penetrating question, “Judas, why are you here?” I find during Lent it is helpful to allow Jesus to ask me that question. Why do I follow him? I would like to think my motivation is pure and righteous; but I know in my frail humanity that is not always so. Peter, James and John were there first out of duty. Jesus asked them to come with him to Gethsemane and they obeyed. Nothing wrong with that. Duty is important. I wish more people felt a deep sense of responsibility to their vow. We promised to follow Jesus wherever he might go. You will find in every church those who are there out of a genuine sense of duty. God bless them. Through thick and thin they are there. They need no other reason than Jesus asks for their faithfulness and they thus, give it. But, that inner circle of Jesus was also there because it just might place them in a good position to sit at his right hand. Power. How corrupting. It can take something as inspiring as duty and cheapen it. Peter wasn’t about to let the other two gain an ounce of favor more than him. James and John had constantly bickered as to “who would sit at his right hand.” Therefore, their reasons were not totally pure. As a matter of fact, their actions could be downright self-serving. Sadly, we also know people who attend church for reasons beneficial to them. In a pastorate many years ago the town mayor rarely attended church, until election time. Until the votes were cast he was there, every Sunday. God help him. I would hate to answer to God for using the love of God for personal gain. Maybe we all do this to varying degree, I don’t know. But each should examine their conscience. And Judas? Is he really the startling contrast to the others we have made of him? He too wanted power and position and believed he could have it with Jesus. When it was obvious Jesus was not going to call the people to arms and overthrow Rome Judas got what he could and left: thirty pieces of silver. Judas is just an exaggeration of the other three, a man more driven and a little more selfish. In the story of Gethsemane, there is not one present with Jesus because they are sensitive to his pain and sorrow. If any of the three are there because they did not want to leave him alone in such agony it was difficult to discern such concern on their part. Remember, they fell asleep on him, more than once, even after he pleaded with them to remain awake “with him..” As followers of Jesus, and citizens of the Kingdom of God we should not be surprised when Jesus walks into situations that involve prayer, agony, selflessness, and love, noble love birthed by the most caring motivation. Why are we in church? Why are we following Jesus? May his disturbing question wreak its “godly havoc” in our hearts. For often, we are transformed, not by the comfortable, but by that which is most unsettling.
D. Craig Rikard
March 22, 2011 at 11:58 am
Marriage and Family: Addiction and Boundaries
Boundaries are important for the healthy functioning of a family. A firm boundary must exist between the married couple and the children. Children need to know that their mother and father have a healthy loving relationship apart from them. This helps them to launch into life, for they know Mom and Dad are just fine. However, addiction tends to destroy boundaries. Children are brought into the marital dyad and are not allowed to be children. How many of us know of children taking care of an addicted parent? The abuse of drugs and alcohol can create such an emotional “disconnect” between the mother and father that one of them may latch hold of one of the children for emotional support. When a child becomes the emotional stability for an addicted parent they lose their childhood. These children walk on eggshells trying to keep the parent functioning, they have difficulty focusing on matters outside the home like school, and they grow up too fast. Resentment can build up over time in the psyche of the “used” child and they become angry adults. We should not be amazed that addicted parents often rear addicted children. The children grow up in such stress and the way they learn to deal with stress is from the parent. When the means of dealing with stress is drug induced numbness addiction just inflicts the next generation. That is, without intervention. When we recognize children who have become the emotional strength for an addicted parent, we must take action and quickly to save the child. With each passing day childhood is being lost, and, it cannot be retrieved.
D. Craig Rikard
March 21, 2011 at 10:13 pm
Marriage and family: Communication: Semantics
Prior to visiting a different culture and country for several months there are certain realities we would want to know in order to most richy enjoy the experience. We would first want to know the language. I don’t just mean what do the “words” mean? Often the same word has different connotations in varied cultures. For example, in Western culture we view history in terms of chronology. Other cultures understand history as more circular. Same word, totally different perspectives. Each of us is our own country. Our background of experiences, from childhood forward shape our perceptions and feelings of life. Therefore, marriage is the uniting of two worlds, each with its own perceptions, feelings and SEMANTICS. One spouse may use the verb “loving” to mean physical expressions of affection like hugging, holding, kissing, etc. The other spouse may understand that to act loving is verbal. It is something we say. Then, there are those who feel neither is needed, not touch, not word. Love to them is understood. This is one example of hundreds. A couple must always work on communicating effectively. NEVER assume you mean the same thing by the same word..
D. Craig Rikard
March 21, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Our Place of Prayer
Almost everyone, those who embrace faith and those who shun it, will one day pray. Each of us will have a moment that drives us to our knees. We will feel emotional agony so deeply it will feel as though we “sweat drops as of blood.” Gethsemane was Jesus’ personal place of prayer. The garden, a small area within a larger olive orchard was just outside the city. Luke informs us it was Jesus’ “customary” place of prayer. Certainly we can pray at any location at any time. Still, there exists particular places that enliven our senses, that make us feel close to God. The garden in the olive orchard was a perfect place for Jesus. The olive tree is one of the few trees that can be cut down, and yet it will grow back. If a person was facing death and needed to believe the truth of resurrection, the olive tree was a powerful reminder. Personally, I like places that remind me of how ancient our faith is, and how majestic and beautiful is God. I love cathedrals and sanctuaries filled with symbols such as crosses that stand in contrast to light bursting through the beauty of stained glass. I love an altar upon which to kneel and a large vaunted ceiling, reminding me of just how little I am and how big God is. That God would hear the pray of this finite, frail man is touching to me. But that is me. Each of us needs our “customary” place of prayer; a place that is filled with images, smells and sounds that remind us both of who we are and who God is. Find it, use it, so that when life overwhelms us we will journey to a place we know well, very well.
D. Craig Rikard
March 19, 2011 at 3:12 pm
Remarriage: Accepting and Respecting Children of the New Spouse
Marriage can never be stripped of its emotional issues and examined only analytically. Emotion is the driving force of a family. This emotion must be understood, and directed toward the health and good of all. When a person marries another with children, acceptance and respect of those children is a must. Loving the children as if they are your own may be difficult, but acceptance and respect is a choice we make. We must never forget that the children of a new spouse are usually so dear to their heart they would die for those children. While there are ages when children are expected to launch and live independently, they are forever the precious love of their mother and father. Love for a new spouse with children demands that one chooses to accept and respect those children, recognizing that such acceptance helps fulfill the life of the spouse, and the lives of the children. Marriage is an institution in which all members of the family work toward helping one another find fulfillment and contentment in life. A new spouse who hears their children belittled, and treated with disrespect cannot possibly be fully happy and serene in life. Children who are made to feel like a “problem”, an nuisance in the new family must overcome feelings of being unwanted and guilt. Guilt? Children most often deeply love their parents. If they feel they are depriving the parent happiness guilt rears its ugly head. In conclusion, for now, disrespect and refusal to accept a spouse’s children “splinters” the family. The parent with children usually engages in activities with the children with the spouse choosing to remain absent. If they are present they can exude the desire to somewhere else so strongly it ruins the outing. The litany of difficulties that arise from refusing to accept the children who are now PART of the family can be extended for there are many destructive results, too many. This is an issue that must be settled honestly prior to the marriage. Too much is at stake.
D. Craig Rikard
March 18, 2011 at 5:31 pm
There is a tremendous difference between a marital argument and a fight. Of course, I am referring to “verbal” arguing versus verbal fighting. All physical forms of discord are abusive and destructive. Arguments are normal. It is a myth that when two people married they start anew, with a blank slate. There is no blank slate. We bring everything about us, our past joys and pains, all of our experiences and especially our life in our family of origin. An argument can be understood as these two worlds seeking to “mesh” together or find common ground regarding a particular issue that arises in time. A fight however occurs when “competitiveness” enters the fray. The disagreement is no longer about coming to terms with a truth that is constructive for the couple, it is about WHO WINS!!! No one wins in marital fights. It is these moments when we go for the jugular. How do you know when you are in a fight versus an argument. Name calling begins, matters from the past are resurrected, the discussion is circular or, “chases rabbits.” By this we mean the disagreement loses all focus. In an attempt to hurt the other and win, the argument runs all over the emotional map. In a healthy argument no person in the couple wins. The couple itself wins, or, more clearly stated, the truth wins. Loving truth is liberating and no one person owns it. Usually the couples that love one another and seek happiness and fulfillment realized both contribute to the marriage’s life and growth.
D. Craig Rikard
March 18, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Though I come from a perspective of a painful childhood, I remind myself that many are the recipients of loving homes, and I thank God for that. I have always admired Gail, my spouse, and her sister Nell, and her brothers as well. Love was always present in their home through someone. I think this is the great source of their kind and loving hearts. Remember, childhoods have everything to do with future responses in life. It is also important to realize that a childhood is something that can never be retrieved. Once it is gone, it’s gone. So I encourage all parents to make the most of the time with their children. I pray your house is filled with feelings of love and especially safety. A secure child is a happy child and confident adult. Your children will one day thank you for the childhood you gave them.
D. Craig Rikard
March 17, 2011 at 8:14 pm
In the Garden Alone
As Jesus intentionally left the upper room that night, he journeyed to his “customary” place of prayer. The disciples followed, and Jesus asked Peter, James and John to walk with him a little deeper into the garden. Then, he turned to the three and asked them to stop, for now he must walk alone deeper still into Gethsemane. As he fervently prayed for the strength to face the hours ahead he returned to the three to ensure they were not “falling asleep on him.” Jesus knew that what he faced, he had to face alone. They could not understand the origin of his troubled heart, or what awaited him. There are moments in life when we must face moments alone. The time at hand is uniquely ours and we may feel as though the weight of the world rested heavily upon our shoulders. In our Gethsemane we sweat drops “as of blood.” But I would like for us to consider the three Jesus chose to accompany him into the garden. They deeply hurt him by falling asleep in his hour of agony. Though we face many crises alone, still we want people close to us to remain near. We ask for their prayers and their presence. There is comfort to be found just knowing someone is near. How often have we been asked to pray for a friend or family member? We may not know the details for they may be in agony over a very personal matter. But prayer is not dependent upon our knowing everything about what a person is going through or needs. We lift their name to God in prayer, asking for God’s good and perfect will for their life. We pray for them to have strength to walk through their valley of the shadow of death, in whatever form it presents itself. Yet, how often have we fallen asleep. By that phrases I mean, “How often have we assured someone of our prayers, never to really pray for them?” Is it any different than what those three disciples did to Jesus? Would those who ask for our prayers and presence be hurt if they knew we never intended on remaining awake with them through the crises? I pray this lent that when we are asked to pray, we pray. When we are asked to remember someone who is going through great trial I pray we will find some way to let them know we are near, and we are not leaving until they are at peace.
D. Craig Rikard
March 16, 2011 at 2:28 pm
My dear friend Dr. Derek McAleer, a minister at the Methodist Home for Children and Youth, informed me yesterday that a recent report documented that 1 in 8 children under the age of 18 live in a home with an alcoholic or drug abusing parent. This number is both revealing and LOW. Most children in such homes live in secret. The pressure to keep the “family secret” is unbearable and beyond adequate description. The personality of children in these homes is compartmentalized, segmented. The child needs intervention in order to develop into a healthy integrated person. If not, that duality present in the personality may develop into psychological dysfunction and abnormal personality traits. One in eight children, again a low number, lives within our reach. Someone has to take action and save these children. Refusing to become involved is akin to allowing those beautiful children and all of their potential to slowly disintegrate into a painful existence.
D. Craig Rikard
March 15, 2011 at 1:31 pm
Marriages move through transitions or passages; and, there are many. But where is the journey of marriage to be headed? After all of the arguments about passion, the differences of opinion about rearing children, and negotiating the demands of jobs versus home life, a couple settles into a beautiful comfort. Love is always spoken, but is always known, even in the quiet. You are best friends and you know the joy of rest. You no longer demand from one another, or try to shape them into the person you want them to be. You know who they are and understand they are an integral whole. Though not everything is perfectly to your liking, love is now moving toward perfection for you would never sacrifice what they contribute to your life for what you feel they lack. Still, you never take the other for granted, refuse to let passion wane, and give them the gift of knowing whether you are together in the same room or miles apart, love remains strong and certain. Yes, there are many bumps in the road before moving toward that station of comfort, but sticking it out and treating one another as though they mean the world, eventually moves you there.
D. Craig Rikard
March 14, 2011 at 8:27 pm
What Does Japan’s Earthquake Mean?
I admit that I suffer from a lack of “theological observation” in the world. As Japan is walking through the “the valley of the shadow of death”I listen as political pundits and journalists discuss the positives and negatives of nuclear power, the behavior of our president in light of the disaster , while offering horrific statistics regarding the number of deaths and potential deaths. Necessary? Absolutely! But where is that “deeper” search for meaning that is related to the totality of human life and our collective existence? As little as two hundred years ago theological perceptions of the day’s events were important. Often clergy and theologians argued in newspapers and other forms of print. Their concern? What is God saying, and what does this event mean for God’s world? Japan’s suffering, as well as the suffering of numerous other communities throughout the Pacific, should remind us that life is both precious and fragile. A single day should never be taken for granted and we should value love above all else. The heavens and earth at any time can unleash rapid and terrible death. It has always been that way and always will be. Certainly there are actions that can hasten some events and those need to be addressed; yet there are other, many other, events we powerless to change. All political divisions seem petty, and our global arguments appear as humanity’s “straining at gnats and swallowing camels” in light of the devastation we are witnessing. We endure and move on by clinging to the myth it always happens to “someone other than us.” I believe God is asking us to remember, Japan is “us.” The world is God’s beloved creation and every soul is intimately bound together in this experience we call life. The earth has shaken and quaked. It is now time for us to be shaken to our collective spiritual core by the reality, life is frail. We cling to God because he is the one unchangeable reality in a transient world. We cling to God because in a world of division and chaotic hate, for his love is the one truth that gives us eternal hope. As you watch and hear the news and analyses of the news, look deeper my brother and sister. Whereever you live, you are my next-door neighbor.
D. Craig Rikard
March 14, 2011 at 5:49 pm
Marital Arguing and Children
A child possesses tremendous intuitive power. Though not always old enough to articulate what they feel, still, they feel! When couples argue notice small children always seem to be underfoot. Often the couple shoos them away so they can’t hear the content of the argument. Yet, what has been overlooked is t he fact that the child ALREADY knows something is not quite right. They are afraid to leave Mom and Dad alone. Children read our faces, our body language and hear our silence. Every couple is going to argue at some point or another. It is best to explain as simply as possible that people who love one another argue. Affirm them that all is well and will be well. Avoid arguing with loud voices, outbursts of temper, and any violent expression of anger. Always remember it is not just the married couple involved in the argument; if the children and near or within earshot, they are right in the middle of it.
D. Craig Rikard
March 14, 2011 at 12:17 pm
Lent is a journey. Traditionally, through self-sacrifice Christians follow Jesus to the cross, and eventually into the triumphant joy of Easter. Consequently, for the next weeks we will follow Jesus through the Gospels to the cross. We begin in the upper room. Though the mood is somber there is still comfort for Jesus in the ancient ritual of the Passover meal. He has participated in every Passover since childhood. He knows the ritual by heart, and knowing the cross awaits him, he finds solace in that “which never changes.” That is the spiritual value of ritual: it anchors us in the unchangeable. I remember after 9-11 my church was filled with people who wanted to hear expressions of the ancient faith during that time of horrific change. But, Luke’s narrative uses three words to reveal the beginning of Jesus’ journey. “He went out” (of the upper room). Jesus left the comfort of the familiar to face an experience new, and terrifying to him. Though he knew his death was near it had always seemed “in the future;” but now, Jesus could feel the heavy depressive breath of the cross beginning to squeeze the life from him as though constricted by a vice. The spiritual strength seemed to be seep from every pore as the pressure of what awaited grew near. How easy it would have been to remain in that upper room. Yet all meaningful journeys with God involve leaving the serene wombs that provide us safety. No child fully develops into their unique self, designed by God, until they “come out.” and begin their personal journey with Christ. Jesus knew the Father’s will for his life could not be realized until he exited that room,. He would have to leave the upper room and experience the full measure of what collective human sin could do to him. Only then would he know the full measure of the redemptive power of the love that dwelled in his heart. This Lent, each of us needs to exit our personal “upper room,”, that place of comfort that isolates and insulates us from others. We find life and its meaning in our power to love another. Such love is difficult if not impossible when we choose to remain in the safe places of life and avoid journeying with God; for following the Lord leads us into the lives of others who test, and who need our love. I pray at the end of my life those who know me well will be able to say, “He went out and loved, when love was easy, and when it tried his soul.”
D. Craig Rikard
March 13, 2011 at 10:46 pm
In Valdosta our very warm weather has been interrupted by a cold front. I noticed some in the neighborhood counted on more predictable weather. They planted their Spring flowers and as of this morning, the flowers are dead. This morning reminded me that life with little or no warning can become joyfully or painfully unpredictable. The book of Ecclesiastes contains a beautifully written chapter of prose that reminds us of life’s extremes. We are told “there is a time to be born, a time to die; a time to build, and a time to tear down.” We never live only in the joy of birth, nor the sorrow of death; we are not always building, nor destroying. We live between those extremes and the litany of contrasts written in that chapter.. I find it interesting that in Christianity Jesus dies suspended “between” heaven and earth, between the love of God and the violence of humanity. His death is a remarkable metaphor of life. We live in the tension of the delightfully divine and the painfully human. So, rather than living my life by assuming the predictable, I find I respond more appropriately to experiences, positive and negative, when I accept the unpredictable as “the norm.” The one predictable I choose to believe is in the love of God, for it is the one constant I have found in life..
D. Craig Rikard
March 12, 2011 at 11:37 am
I would really like to see our society address this problem. What we are seeing, even in young people, is so disturbing. Young and old are popping pills at the drop of a hat, wanting instant gratification to relieve any inconvenient symptoms. Sleeping pills are a real threat for our society. They are so abused and can really impair a person’s functioning, especially rational decision-making.
anne
March 11, 2011 at 8:32 am
Thank you Anne for a timely and accurate concern about the cultural “norm” of pill popping. Many do not realize that the human body is equipped with the mechanisms it needs to cope with most events and stresses of life. Periodic need of medication is understandable; but long-term use of medications for almost any form of stress and its effects is destructive. The use of the medication means that we are not employing the natural mechanisms of the body and psyche. These mechanisms actually weaken, leading the user to “need them even more.” Thus begins the vicious cycle that leads only downward into dysfunction.
D. Craig Rikard
March 11, 2011 at 3:12 pm
The Hope in Confronting Inner Pain
Perhaps one of the great myths I’ve discovered in my journey through life is that time does not heal all wounds. As a chaplain I was blessed to hear lectures from great surgeons who possessed a genuine awe of the healing powers of the human body. “The body is made to tend toward healing,” one doctor stated passionately. We now know that too many antibiotics can actually hinder a child’s ability to fight off illnesses. The body fights for its own health, though at times it may need outside intervention. We now know that the human psyche operates in the same manner. Our broken heart will seek comfort and healing. Deep wounds to one’s emotions prompt us to drop clues to others of our pain, or “act out” so that others will hear the cry for inner healing and serenity. Charlie Sheen has become a cultural icon for dysfunction. His every action is one loud cry for inner peace. We may imagine our past pain and those memories that hurt, disappear or lose their power over time. They don’t. Only our strongest defense mechanisms keep them in their place, buried deep in the psyche. But there are moments in life with the power to bring our defense mechanisms to their knees. We feel vulnerable because we are. In those moments past pain volcanically erupts and adds to our misery. Loss is one such event. For me, loss stripped away the strong “cap” I had placed over my painful past and unleashed those memories with destructive power. I found moments springing into my awareness I had not considered since a child. Now they seemed as real as though they occurred yesterday. There comes similar moments for each of us at some point in time. All of us have inner pain to varying degree. Severe, destructive pain like mine demanded that I either finally deal with it, or hope time would allow it to slither back into the depths of my soul. But, I knew they would reappear in the first moment of vulnerability. I find it best to deal with inner pain when we are keenly aware it is there. Such awareness means that it has surfaced for some reason and is asking for healing. To ignore it is as unhealthy as ignoring the meaning of a child’s fever. The fever is letting us know the child’s body is fighting against physiological pain. I call those moments when painful memories surface “my fevers.” In pray I journey into them, face them, search for any light that might be present in them until I feel it has lost its ability to control me. Children reared in homes of addiction have many painful memories. They are usually strong and hurt us very deeply. We are prone to run from them, ignore them, bury them, do anything that doesn’t require that we face them. We tend to turn them over to time. Yet, to do so is only to postpone the inevitable. They will surface again. Why? God made our hearts to know serenity, and anything detrimental to being at peace within our own skin will continue to pound away at our defenses until that moment of weakness arrives that allows it to break into our consciousness. It is important for those of us from home’s of addiction to realize we are not alone, and such pain can be mastered. It is then that we have hope.
D. Craig Rikard
March 11, 2011 at 3:20 pm
Hidden Epidemic is timely and needed. The book is both revealing and insightful.
anne
March 10, 2011 at 9:04 pm